Abraca—switch!
by Le Confidant
Summary: Edward enters the Far West, searching for new forms of alchemy. In the red dustbowl of the western lands, he meets with a man that many claims can perform miracles. Don Paco offers Edward the possibility of restoring his Gate of Truth and thus restoring his ability to use alchemy. Little did Edward know that this "Miracle Man" had an agenda of his own. -For FMA Big Bang 2017-
1. Chapter 1

**Hello dear readers!** I've been gone for a while now, but I had my reasons. Head over to Tumblr to read all about it. **So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang** (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

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 **Chapter 1**

"Cano—" The folds piling up on the man's forehead smoothed when he gave out a long, tired sigh. "¡Que mucho tu jodes!" he added, hitting one of his knees for added emphasis.

Edward raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised by the man's actions. He'd been warned beforehand by the people of Little Big Canyon that this man wasn't pleasant, that he sometimes was downright vicious. Good thing he spent a month learning the local language as best as he could so he would be prepared for situations like this one.

Edward kept his gaze fixed on the shriveled figure sitting cross-legged a few feet away from him.

During that moment suspended in time, Edward translated in his head what he just heard. _Cano_ meant _blondie_ an expression he has come to hate ever since he set foot in the Far West. And the rest...Edward paused. Did the old fart had the gall to call him a pest?

At that moment, the man snapped his fingers; Edward couldn't help but glare back at him. And of course, his glare bounced off the man like an alchemical rebound. If it wasn't for the dark void of the man's eyes, Edward would think he was facing the Ice Queen herself. He shook that disturbing image from his head then went back to the purpose of his visit.

"Don Paco," Edward began, this time his tone matched his growing irritation. "¿Me va a ayudar o no?"

The man didn't respond to his plea for help—no surprise there. The man kept staring down at him, eyes unblinking.

Edward did his best to keep his calm but that shriveled, old prune was testing the limit of his patience...and his courteousness. He flashed Don Paco a tight smile in hopes to elicit a reaction—any reaction—from him but the bastard remained as unmoved as before. Edward straightened his posture and squared his shoulders. His amber eyes narrowed ever so slightly wondering if there was something wrong with this man other than having a nasty attitude.

Right then, Don Paco's cold expression morphed as if he'd read his thoughts. The wrinkles on his face—especially his crow's feet—cut his toasted face the same way the canyons in the surrounding area cut the slick rock.

Edward caught a flash of gold amongst the man's gnarly teeth as Don Paco placed his hands on his knobby knees.

A thunderous cackle ripped through the arid air, a sound so disturbing, that made Edward regret wanting a response from Don Paco—even seeking him in the first place. But Edward had to make this detour.

The first time Edward first heard of Don Paco was when he reached the first outpost in East Creta. The locals there told him of a tribe in the Far West where all sorts of miracles happened. As he traveled deeper into Creta, those tales began taking more shape. Apparently, miracles did happen when Don Paco was involved and many folks braved the badlands for a shot at salvation. Of course, when he later found out, mercenaries made a decent living by helping these people cross the unforgiving terrain.

There was a moment during his impromptu investigation when he decided that Don Paco sounded like a tribal version of Doctor Marcoh—maybe even Father Cornello.

In El Paso, the gateway to the Far West, Edward had a fascinating conversation with the local bartender. The bear-of-a-man referred to Don Paco as something more than a healer—he was a sorcerer. When Edward kept asking the bartender for more details, the bartender left his station and went into the back room. When he returned, the bartender showed Edward a photograph. To Edward, the photograph looked a typical family portrait, except for one huge detail. The bartender was sitting in a wheelchair, his atrophied legs struggling to stay put in the foot rests. Before Edward had a chance to ask how he got cured, the bartender told him that Don Paco used some type of red stone on him.

The snapping of fingers brought Edward back to the present.

"Wandering can get you into trouble around this parts," Don Paco said with a mocking smile.

Edward glared like he did the first time the old man snapped his fingers at him. Just when he was coming up with some colorful words in the man's native language, Don Paco continued speaking.

"Not everyone that comes to see me can be helped," he said, then inched forward to peer into Edward's eyes.

"What peculiar eye color you have—like a cat." After a short pause, he said, "Give me your hand."

Don Paco offered his open palm when Edward didn't do as he commanded.

Edward's eyes settled on the withered hand before looking at Don Paco's equally withered face. He gave the man a smart smile while thinking about his next move. Edward wasn't a State Alchemist anymore, nor he was an actual alchemist for that matter, but he wasn't going to give a free pass to a man he suspected of having a Philosopher's Stone in his possession, at least not before making sure the stone wasn't being used for evil deeds.

And that's how Edward humored Don Paco by going along with whatever he indented to do with his hand.

Long, spindly fingers connected by knobby knuckles encircled Edward's hand like a daddy-long-legs that's ready to attack an enemy.

Don Paco focused all of his attention on Edward's palm. After a few long minutes of quiet contemplation, Don Paco made a gurgling sound in his throat and spat on it.

"What the fuck!" Edward cried out. He even tried to pull his hand away but the man tightened the grip on it.

Don Paco looked up for a second, and said, "Patience."

Edward grunted in response. He was close to losing it when Don Paco began moving the spit around. Just when Edward was getting ready to sock the man, Don Paco's face went blank.

"There's a child inside a white void. He—no, 'It'—says it is the all encompassing Truth but he's no more than a Trickster."

Edward remained still, his eyes widening in both shock and awe.

"A life stained red by sin," Don Paco continued, "You—that is, your younger self—wanted to seek atonement, so you danced with demons in order to 'regain what was lost'." He moved the spit some more. "You were ready for anything—you were ready to surrender your own life if it would 'balance the equation'...for Al." Don Paco cleared his throat then smacked his dry lips together. "A blood sacrifice wasn't needed. You made a deal with the child that was now a young man. The Trickster was amused by your offer and took your gift without a second thought. He fooled you."

Edward narrowed his eyes at Don Paco. That man in the middle of nowhere was well-informed. But there was no way he could know about his personal struggles unless he has ties with the Cretan military, and even if that was the case, he doubted they would give this crazy, old man detailed intel on him in the first place.

Edward tried to free his hand again and break whatever the hell this man was doing to it (to him) but Don Paco wasn't budging.

Don Paco set his hard gaze on one spot in Edward's palm. With his index finger, he traced the line that curved towards his heart and index fingers.

A smile broke the man's contemplation; his ebony eyes met Edward's. "Your girl...she's quite the looker."

Edward scowled even deeper.

Don Paco continued reading his palm. His intense gaze was gone, replaced by a lewd grin.

 _Dirty old man!_ "Hey!" Edward snapped and yanked at his hand, but the fucker was stronger than he looked.

If Don Paco didn't let go of his hand soon, he was going to end up in a world of hurt. At the count of three, Edward curled his left hand into a fist. Just as he swung, Don Paco let go of his hand. The sudden shift in momentum made Edward lose balance, he had to use both hands so he wouldn't fall face forward.

"You've lived quite an interesting life, cano," Don Paco said as he confronted Edward's anger. "You're no ordinary human, that's for sure," he mused.

Tilting his head to the right, he mumbled, "Interesting indeed."

Edward didn't pay attention to the man's words, he was too busy cleaning old man spit and dirt from his hands with his handkerchief. He put the dirty handkerchief back in one of his pant pockets then stood up. He wiped the dust from his pants then leaned to pick up the hat he'd purchased in a Cretan outpost some odd weeks ago. The hat itself was an atrocity but it had wide wings that protected his face from the harsh sun.

Only after he put the hat on was when Edward returned his attention to Don Paco.

"Well, that was certainly creepy...and disgusting." His forehead crinkled as he thought of the strange experience. He glanced over his shoulder to locate his horse, who at the moment was enjoying the shade of the only large tree in the surrounding area. "I better get going," he said when he turned to Don Paco.

Edward leaned over to pick up his suitcase. He then did a one-eighty and walked away.

Red stone be damned.

The first thing he was going to do when he returned to town was to make a quick phone call to Central Command. Colonel Bastard should know that there might be a Philosopher's Stone in the Far West—

"I thought you wanted my help!"

Edward stopped, rolled his eyes, and let out an annoyed sigh.

"I'm no longer interested," he said, then continued walking.

"Weren't you listening to what I was saying, pendejo?" Don Paco yelled. "I can help you with your alchemy. That is what you're ultimately seeking, isn't it?"

Edward kept walking to his horse.

"I know you crave it!" Don Paco added, "That titillating feeling coursing through your body as you connect with the Most Sacred Energy." His face twisted into a cheeky grin before he let out a loud cackle. "It's better than una paja, right?"

Even though Edward wouldn't go as far as to compare the energetic surge to jacking off, he couldn't deny that Don Paco was right in his assessment of its mechanics.

"You're not interested in my offer, not even in the least?" Don Paco insisted when he didn't receive an immediate answer to his question.

 _What the hell is his problem?_ Edward waved a hand and said, "Not at all!"

He kept walking.

"I don't believe you."

Edward stopped abruptly and turned around. "Weren't you listening, asshole? I said I'm not interested," he spat.

An even bigger smile slithered across Don Paco's face. "Is that what you're going to tell your brother and your girlfriend when you return home?"

Edward blew off right then and there. "You leave them out of it!"

In his rage, he didn't see Don Paco's eyes narrowing in satisfaction.

"Have they ever told you how they feel about _you_ losing your alchemy?" Don Paco said, his words punching past Edward's offense as if it was made out of paper. "Are you that dense that you can't see the guilt your brother carries every day because he knows you surrendered your alchemy, _your sense of Self"_ —he punctuated—"for his sake?"

Edward dropped his suitcase, the heavy luggage raising a soft cloud of dust all around him when it hit the ground.

He then pointed an angry finger at Don Paco before cutting the man off. "I'm warning you—!"

"And what a terrible boyfriend you turned out to be!" Don Paco said, feigning dismay while at the same time retaking control of the conversation. "That hot babe of yours is hurting on the inside because she knows you haven't really returned to her side"—he shook his head in disappointment—"she's afraid that your loss of alchemy will always get in the way of your relationship."

"Shut your trap, old man! You know nothing about them!" Edward snarled.

Don Paco was talking shit. Both Alphonse and Winry understood his choice— _his sacrifice!_

But Edward went silent when an unsettling thought caught his attention.

Alphonse persistence of traveling separately so they could cover more ground and learn more about alchemy. And Winry's insistence for him to get on the train—

"Not only I can tap into your consciousness, cano, I can also tap into the energetic imprint of everyone that's interconnected with you," Don Paco said, picking up where he left off. "Look, I already said that I'm willing to help you with your problem, and believe me muchacho, that is considered an honor around these parts."

Don Paco's words brought Edward back to the moment; his face darkened.

"Let me guess, next you're going to tell me that you're going to perform a miracle?" he scoffed. "The Philosopher's Stone can't restore the ability to use alchemy." His words were dripping cynicism but he didn't care. That old bastard had overstepped his bounds a long time ago.

Don Paco blinked like an owl. Moments later, a low rumble started in his chest that exploded into a full fit of laughter. "Cano"—he waved his index finger in playful reproach—"You're even sharper than I gave you credit for. I'm liking you even more than I already do."

After a minute or so, Don Paco's amusement dwindled, and after wiping off some mirthful tears, he said, "No stone, cano, only magia, magick—and that is magick with a 'c' and a k'—not its bastardized form." A pause. "If you accept my help, I will be using on you a type of ancient art form the likes you've never seen in your life."

Edward opened his mouth to object, but closed it. For some odd reason that went beyond all logic, that old prune piqued his interest.

Don Paco stood up and approached Edward. "I don't blame you for not trusting me, cano." He looked at Edward from top to bottom. Amused, he added, "I would be doing the same if I were in your shoes."

Edward's brow tensed. The way that old man talked and moved reminded him of a snake that had encircled its prey.

"There's no point in hiding it from you," Don Paco said when he saw he was losing Edward's interest.

He buried one hand in his shirt and pulled out a long silver chain. At the end of the chain hung a silver skull and in its jaw, glistened a red stone. "When magick fails—and that doesn't happen often, I must add—then I use the Sanguine Star to accomplish what I started, which is to help people in need."

Don Paco looked the Philosopher's Stone for a brief moment then turned his gaze upon Edward.

"Like you, I know what this is made out of," he continued. "This stone contains the souls of the People of the West." His gaze became lost for a second. "It was handed to me by a Cretan deserter who was against the genocide of our people."

Edward remained silent. He couldn't help but think about the similitudes between Ishval and these People of the West. One thing was for sure, the Philosopher's Stone always leaves heartbreak and misery behind.

"The Being living on the other side of the Gate isn't God."

Don Paco's comment snapped Edward back into awareness; Don Paco noticed this and smiled.

"Don't get me wrong," he said, then added, "'It'—Truth, as you better know it—possess immense power, but this Being isn't the Creator. This Being controls a power similar to magick to 'pass judgment' upon us mortals, and we let it this Being abuse us simply because we don't know any better."

Edward gave the old man an incredulous look.

"Tell me, cano, why would God pass judgment on us lowly humans?" Don Paco rushed to ask.

Edward raised an eyebrow. The old man was certainly pushy, and he also knew how to ask the right questions. Don Paco kind of reminded him of Rose when they first met in Liore. She also asked him questions. Should he amuse himself at this man's expense like he did with poor Rose all those years ago?

"I don't know." He wanted to hear what the old kook had to say about the subject.

Don Paco grinned. "The answer is: he doesn't."

Edward suppressed a snicker.

Don Paco went on to say, "All religions preach that God is perfection, so it's safe to assume that God's creation is also perfection. Wouldn't 'passing judgment' contradict all this?"

Don Paco's words struck a chord. He's thought among similar lines especially after Truth took his stupid Commanding Officer's sight even though he wasn't at fault for performing a human transmutation. Truth—God, Goddess, Creator—shouldn't have taken anything from Mustang, yet it did.

"I see that my words had an effect on you."

Edward returned his attention to Don Paco. He pressed his lips into a thin line and paused before saying, "In my final transmutation, I exchanged my Gate of Truth for my younger brother's mind, body, and soul. Tell me how the fuck can you cancel this exchange without using the stone?"

Don Paco shook his head. "Well, that was stupid," he tsked.

Edward curled his upper lip. "You know what? Go to hell!" he turned around and continued walking. "That's what I get for listening to crazy people," he mumbled as he moved along.

"I'm sorry if I offended you!" Don Paco said. "I'm a hermit, cano, that doesn't help with social skills."

But Edward couldn't care less.

"To tell you the truth, even my fellow tribesmen can't stand me," Don Paco admitted. And when Edward didn't stop, he added, "To answer your question, I'll be conjuring a gateway between the physical realm and the White Void then I'll astral travel to the White Void and persuade Truth to give you back your Gate of Truth."

Edward slowed his pace until he came to a full stop. He gave out a tired sigh before turning around. "And that's it?" Maybe it was the relentless sun, maybe he had enough of Don Paco's bullshit, or maybe it was a combination of the two, but he couldn't stop himself from being bitterly sarcastic.

Instead of being offended, Don Paco offered Edward a sympathetic smile.

"Cano, you always had your God-given gift within you. In its natural state, it was active but now is dormant. The connection will be restored once I speak with Truth." He waited a few seconds to see if Edward would walk away. When Edward didn't, he added, "I'll tell you something. It takes me one day to make the preparations for the Transcendence Ritual. The passage to other realms is the strongest at midnight. If you're feeling lucky, and want to gamble with fate, then be here tomorrow at least one hour before the clock strikes midnight."

Edward simply stared. After a brief pause, he turned around and left without saying a word.

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This is quite different from what I usually write. There's words in Spanish and there will be Japanese honorifics too. There's canon pairings, but this story is pretty much GEN. **Would love to hear what you think, so please R &R!**

Chapter 2 should be posted in about a week. n_n


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello dear readers!** I've been gone for a while now, but I had my reasons. Head over to Tumblr to read all about it. **So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang** (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 2**

The crackling of firewood was starting to annoy Edward. He bent over and picked up a long stick from the ground. He gave it a quick look thinking that Don Paco might've used it to stir up the fire already; he did the same and stirred it up some more. The crackling calmed. Seconds later, Edward tossed the stick away and sat in front of the bonfire. No seats or mats were available so he had to make do with sitting on the red sand. At least the surface soft on the tush.

After finding a comfortable spot on the ground, Edward pulled his State Alchemist pocket watch from his vest. It was thirteen until midnight. Edward snapped the watch close and brought his knees close to his chest. He folded his arms over his bent knees and rested his chin on his right forearm. Two, maybe three beats had passed by before a proud smile adorned his face. He couldn't help it though, he still couldn't believe that flesh and bone had replaced metal and wires. A little over two years had passed by since he got his arm back. He supposed, though, he was going to catch himself smiling until he put his past behind. Lingering on the past for too long always had a sobering effect on him.

Edward straightened; he flipped open his pocket watch one more time. It was now five until midnight. Edward flipped the watch close but this time he slipped it back in his vest pocket. He glanced around but found the area as immutable as when he arrived.

The thin plume of smoke he saw at a distance was still crowing Don Paco's hut; Edward groaned.

The man specifically told him to be there one hour before midnight.

"Guess the old fart was just being a control freak," Edward mumbled to himself.

He looked around some more. Still no crazy old man in the vicinity. He sighed.

Edward returned to his previous sitting position, with his arms folded over his bent knees, though this time he didn't rest his chin on his right forearm. He scanned the area some more looking for any signs of the old man and found none. He was going to give Don Paco a couple of extra minutes before going back to town.

Edward groaned in irritation.

He hated waiting, he hated waiting in silence, mostly he hated silence because his voice of reason liked to strike in the dead of silence.

Like a drill sergeant, the likes one could find in Fort Briggs, his voice of reason got on his case the day before while he made his way back to Little Big Canyon.

The rest of the night, and pretty much the better part of the following day, it barked at him to forget about Don Paco's offer. But Edward was born a scientist and scientists are curious beings. Besides, he has never liked to be told what to do. "Lack of common sense" as many had told him throughout his life. So alchemy or no alchemy, Edward figured that there was much he could learn from that crazy old man.

Wasn't that the whole fucking point of his trip to the West?

Edward thoughts returned to the moment when Don Paco told him about Alphonse's feelings and his supposed guilt.

"And here I thought Al was making up excuses to travel East so he could play house with Li'l Miss Bean," he said, bursting into a guffaw.

But his attempt at sarcasm faded fast.

Edward's expression turned dark. He exhaled a frustrated sigh.

If Alphonse would've been with him right now, he might feel more confident about committing himself to what Don Paco was offering—

"Cano, didn't I tell you already that wandering like that can get you in trouble around these parts?"

Edward's face twisted into an annoyed glare when he heard the stupid comment.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come," Don Paco added as he trudged towards Edward.

Even with the full moon shining brightly above them, it was hard to distinguish figures in the dark. Edward thought the old man was coming from the direction of his adobe hut, but he appeared from the opposite direction.

The flames finally shed light on Don Paco. Edward blinked like a man waking from a dream.

The old crone was wearing a full regalia consisting of the same clothes he was wearing the day before along with long loops of shell necklaces beaded together with serpent skulls. Don Paco's Sanguine Star was the center piece amongst his gruesome neck ornaments.

The way the red stone shined amongst the skulls reminded Edward of Envy's stone.

He tried to control the rise of bile his throat as best as he could.

The huge backpack on Don Paco's back made him look like a shriveled up tortoise.

In his right hand, Don Paco held a long wooden staff; he cradled a cat in his opposite arm.

Edward wasn't an expert in cats like Alphonse, but he was pretty sure the cat Don Paco held was a golden short-haired cat.

Why would he need a cat? Edward turned to Don Paco, his golden eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Relax, muchacho. I'm not going to kill this cat, if that's what you're thinking," Don Paco snickered.

"You said it, not me," Edward spat.

Don Paco cut him off. "But you thought about it!"

Edward flashed a hard, cynical smile. "No offense, but you don't strike me as a cat person."

Don Paco pointed a finger at Edward, and said, "So sharp!"

He chuckled as he walked past Edward, then gently deposited the cat on the ground.

"Domingo is a crucial part of the ritual," he said as he turned to Edward. "Cats act as guides between realms."

The cat meowed as if he were in agreement with Don Paco.

Edward kept to himself.

Don Paco took the opportunity to place the backpack near the bonfire. He then sat crossed-legged next to it and motioned for Edward to move closer.

But Edward didn't move an inch.

Domingo sauntered toward Edward. He looked at Edward with his big golden eyes before rubbing against his side. Alphonse would've loved this little guy. Domingo meowed then returned to his owner's side.

Don Paco leaned forward to pick up Domingo. "Did you tell anyone in town that you were coming?" he asked as he put the cat on his lap.

Edward smiled that cynical smile again and said, "Do you have some nefarious plans for me or something?"

Don Paco's eyes widened in surprise. After a pause, he let out a loud, boisterous cackle.

"¡Ay qué muchacho este!" he hollered, making Domingo jump away.

Don Paco gave a hardened glare at the cat when it decided to keep his distance.

He turned to Edward, and added, "No, I'm not planning on doing anything of the sort. I just wanted to make sure that you informed someone of your whereabouts, that's all."

Edward answered with a deadpan stare. He had to appear cold and aloof in front of Don Paco; the man was much too astute for his liking. He didn't say anything for a moment. He was angry at himself for not telling anyone about his whereabouts. It would've been wise to tell the innkeeper. The man had been genuinely worried about him ever since he first asked him what he knew about Don Paco.

"It's okay, cano, you can turn tail and run back to town. I won't judge," Don Paco said with a mocking smile.

The fucking bastard did it again.

Edward shook his head. "Naw, I'm good," he said, making sure his tone overflowed with manly confidence.

Don Paco stared at him for a moment, then out of nowhere, he smacked one of his thighs and grinned wide.

"Let's commence the ritual!" he hollered.

Don Paco leaned forward to drag his backpack closer to him. He untied the braided leather laces and stuck his knobby hand inside. With careful measure, Don Paco took out a small gourd which he placed to his right. He moved the bag to the opposite side then picked up the gourd.

Edward watched in silence while the man uncorked the gourd and took a whiff of its contents.

Don Paco swirled the gourd like a master maître d' of some expensive Amestrian restaurant and took another sniff.

The man struggled to stand up while holding the gourd, but once he was up, he walked to Edward.

"You need to drink this now," he said, shaking the gourd slightly so Edward would take it.

At that, Edward was unable to contain a scoff.

"And why do I need to drink this?" he asked.

Instead of being angry, Don Paco smiled. "I need to open up your energetic pathways," he said, and his smile grew.

A long pause followed Don Paco's answer, mainly because Edward was searching for signs of deceit in the dark pits of the old man's eyes.

"Are you going to drink from it too?" Edward challenged when he came up empty-handed.

"I already did," Don Paco replied with what was probably his most impish smile so far.

Edward stared at the gourd then glared at Don Paco.

"You could be serving me poison for all I know," he chided.

Another smile, a bigger one slid across Don Paco's wrinkled face. "That's always a possibility, cano," he said, to Edward's surprise.

He paused to smack his lips, then added, "I got a question for you too." He pointed a finger at Edward. "Are _you_ willing to take that gamble?"

Were all the people of the Far West so overly dramatic?

Edward moved along to more pressing matters, like what that man could gain from this encounter.

It wasn't power, Edward quickly deduced, because he didn't have any. Knowledge? That's certainly a possibility but the old fart had proven to be quite knowledgeable about many things in his own right.

Edward stared at Don Paco with unblinking eyes while entertaining an idea he'd been keeping at bay since yesterday: Does Don Paco actually have good intentions at heart?

Since an early age, life has drilled into his head that anything was possible. An old man in the middle of nowhere claiming that he can help him restore his alchemy by convincing Truth to give back what he'd willingly offered in exchange for his brother's life could be just as credible as a homunculus planning become a living god. And he already lived through the latter.

"Fine, I'll drink the damn thing," Edward said as he yanked the gourd from Don Paco's hand.

"A wise decision, muchacho," Don Paco muttered while he watched Edward uncork the rustic container. When Edward curled his nose in disgust, he added, "It tastes worse than it smells but it'll make things easier."

Edward looked up, scowled, and snapped, "Gee, thanks for the heads-up."

"I don't sugarcoat things, pendejo," Don Paco snapped back.

Edward ignored the man.

He tried to peer inside the gourd but couldn't see anything in the darkness of the night; it made him groan inside. As he let out a huff of air, Edward thought for the umpteenth time about the two main reasons that drove him to seek Don Paco one more time.

 _Alphonse...Winry..._ He wished they could be right there with him to support him—or to stop him from committing an act of stupidity—but they weren't.

He raised his eyes to Don Paco.

Physically, that scrawny old man didn't pose a threat; the Philosopher's Stone hanging from his neck was another matter. But even if the man somehow managed to pull off some idiotic stunt on him, he had his strength and his youth on his side. Besides, Izumi did teach him some amazing combat skills.

So with that boost of self-confidence, Edward sucked in a breath and pressed the gourd to his lips. In a one-two, he guzzled the contents down before his throat closed up.

"Ah, eso es...drink it to the last drop," Don Paco said while he watched Edward down the potion, and smiled in utter satisfaction the moment he finished.

"Ugh—! Fuck!" Edward spat as he put the gourd down on the sand. He swallowed slowly to avoid upchuck—which probably would taste even worse than what he just downed—then added, "That thing is vile!"

"Give it a couple of seconds," Don Paco said as he picked up the gourd and brought back with him to his backpack.

Edward watched the man pick up the golden-haired cat, which he cradled in his arm with utmost care. Don Paco then walked back to him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Edward felt as if the question had been asked ages ago. He also noticed he had a hard time putting together a proper answer.

An indescribable sweetness suddenly replaced the nasty aftertaste that lingered in his mouth.

"Wha—" Edward slurred but couldn't finish piecing together what he was trying to say. His mouth felt as if it'd been stuffed with cotton. Then a sensation of weightlessness hit him. He wasn't sure if he was sitting, standing or had fallen to the ground. All sense of gravity was gone in an instant.

"Fu—!" he tried to say but he somehow had lost the ability to speak.

Edward focused his attention on Don Paco's feet, which were now in his direct line of view. He mustn't be paying attention because it was Don Paco's face what he was looking at. Then, after a couple of seconds that seemed to stretch a lifetime, Edward came to a terrible realization.

"F—fu—cker—" he finally managed to slip a word past his numbed lips.

Don Paco's mouth curled into a Cheshire grin that eerily reminded him of Truth.

Edward tried to stand but he couldn't. His eyes focused on Domingo who'd replaced Don Paco's face.

"That's it," he said, "Concentrate on those golden eyes that look so much like yours."

Edward tried to shut his eyes close but couldn't. He wanted to look away but found himself unable to do so.

"These will be your eyes from now on, Edward Elric," Don Paco continued.

 _"He knows my name...I never gave him my name..!"_

Cold dread washed over him.

 _"No-no-no!"_ Edward wanted to say but at this point, he wasn't sure if those thoughts were even his.

Darkness began creeping up on him. Edward fought against this sensation and lost.

.

.

.

The world was spinning faster than a merry-go-round.

Edward blinked a few times to see if it would it stop; it didn't help much, though.

His thoughts were a mess too. The only thing he remembered well was that he'd passed out.

Edward tried to get up when the dizziness wasn't so overwhelming. And when he did, he noticed that Don Paco wasn't there with him anymore.

Then he noticed that he was standing too close to the ground.

"How—?" _That can't be right..._ He looked down to see if there was something wrong with his legs and found two golden-haired paws instead of his feet. His eyes instantly rounded.

"What the fuck—?"

Edward tried to bring his hand to his head but lost his balance. His chin hit the ground. A jolt of panic ran up his spine; the surge somehow propelled him high into the air.

"Wha—what is going on?" Edward muttered as he landed safely on his feet.

His eyes darted in all directions. He began breathing loudly but he couldn't help himself.

"What the fuck is going on!" he screamed into the dark night.

And then he heard it. The sound was muffled by the thumping in his ears, but he heard it alright.

He had meowed.

.

.

* * *

I forgot to mention, there's lots of swearing in this story. Chapter 3 should be posted sometime next weekend. n_n

 **Would love to hear what you think, so please R &R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello dear readers!** I've been gone for a while now, but I had my reasons. Head over to Tumblr to read all about it. **So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang** (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 3**

 _This isn't happening,_

 _This isn't happening,_

 _This isn't fucking happening!_

These words had been on replay in Edward's mind for quite a while.

"I must be tripping..." he muttered under his breath as he paced back and forth. Then he stopped in his tracks and chuckled. "There's no way that I'm a cat."

One thing was for sure, though. He ingested one potent drug.

Being under the influence sure made things interesting. He could peer into the darkness of the night and see in high detail shapes that usually vanished from sight. Then there was the problem with perspective. He could swear he was looking at things from below rather than from above—that actually pissed him off more than it freaked him out. And the hallucinogenic properties of the unknown drug made him feel things that weren't correct.

Edward shook his head when he felt his tail swinging. "Yup, still high as a kite," he said to himself.

The scent of smoky wood soon distracted Edward.

He looked at the fire-pit in the ritual site. The fire was dying, most of the wood had turned into ashes. The smoke he smelled came from fresh firewood.

Edward took a quick look around and saw a plume pouring out the top of Don Paco's hut. The hairs on his neck—and his back?—stood on end. His lips retracted into a snarl, and he hissed, "I'm gonna kill that bastard!" Then he took off.

.

.

.

Don Paco's hut looked like a diminutive thing at a distance. He'd guessed the highest point would go over a one-story house, maybe a house and a half, but not two. Don Paco's placed looked like a three-story building.

"There's no way I'm a fucking a cat," he reassured himself as a ball of dread tightened his stomach.

Edward pushed the disconcerting thought away before pushing on the heavy fabric covering the hut's entrance. He completely ignored the fact that he used his head and not his hands to enter the place.

All thoughts were on hold once he spotted Don Paco resting on a bed.

The inside of the hut blurred into the background. Everything except Don Paco ceased to exist.

Edward darted towards the man.

.

.

.

The wrinkles that cut Don Paco's face had softened, the serene look on his tired face told Edward that he was in deep sleep.

"Wake up you bastard!" Edward growled and shuddered when the hairs on his neck and back stand on end, once again.

Don Paco didn't react at all to his menacing tone. He remained still as if a sleeping spell had been cast on him.

Edward's growl became more intense and guttural by the minute. He didn't even notice when he jumped on Don Paco's chest or that he didn't crush him.

The man felt a corpse despite the gentle rise and fall of Don Paco's chest underneath his—hands? feet? paws?

"I know you can hear me," Edward ground out, and growled from the depths of his chest when Don Paco didn't answer.

Edward's fingertips began tingling. He looked down at his hands that looked like paws. The tingling increased. Edward figured that no harm would come to him if he decided to extend his imaginary claws; he was high, after all.

So he commanded his claws to extend.

Edward couldn't help but stare in awe at the tiny arsenal he had at his disposition. He turned his attention to Don Paco just as an evil grin spread across his face. Hallucination or no hallucination, he was going to make sure the old man paid for making a fool of him.

Edward got closer to Don Paco's face.

"Let's see how asleep you really are, fucker," he said as he raised his right paw.

In one fell swoop, he scratched Don Paco's left cheek.

The old man didn't flinch.

 _What the—?_ Edward frowned.

His little knives slashed Don Paco's cheek again. This time, he went deeper; he wanted to draw blood.

Not even the faintest of whimpers came out of Don Paco's mouth.

A low growl—a panicked growl—began rumbling in Edward's chest. He narrowed his glare at Don Paco as the coppery tang of blood invaded his nostrils.

"Wake the fuck up!" he yelled to his face.

Hysteria was slowly creeping up on him, like a rattlesnake that's going after its prey.

"Please calm down, young man."

Edward, who by now was breathing raggedly, froze in place the moment his brain registered a new voice inside the hut.

 _A woman's voice?_

Edward didn't see anyone else besides Don Paco when he entered the hut, then again, everything had been a blur since he woke up from being knocked out cold by some unknown drug.

He turned towards the direction of the voice.

There was an old woman sitting on a small stool next to a large black cauldron. The woman was small and husky. The way she curved on the stool made her look like a beach ball. Her long salt and pepper hair was neatly pleated into two braids. Her back faced him so he didn't know how her face looked like—yet.

"Who are you?" Edward asked, his golden eyes narrowed in suspicion.

The woman stood up. Instead of turning around to engage in conversation, she went to a shelf located close to the cauldron.

She picked up a jar containing some greenish ooze. She also picked up a small box from one of the lower shelves. Then she headed his way.

The woman wasn't as old as Edward had believed. She looked like she was in her late forties, maybe early fifties. There was a kind disposition about her that made him relax his muscles.

Edward moved out of the way when he understood that the woman was going to tend to Don Paco's wounds.

The woman used her thumb to remove the cork from the bottle.

The foul smell quickly attacked Edward's nostrils, reminding him of what he'd just had a few hours ago.

He jumped out of the bed and retracted to a safer place.

From his new spot between the clay pottery, Edward watched as the woman drenched in the green goop a gauze she'd taken out of the box. She then began dabbing the gauze over Don Paco's scratches.

Edward wasn't an expert in herbalism but he knew an antiseptic when he saw one. And antiseptics hurt like hell. His blood ran cold when Don Paco didn't flinch from the sting. To be precise, the man didn't react at all!

The woman took two more gauzes and some medical tape out of the box. She then began bandaging Don Paco's cheek. She placed the medical tape back in the box and picked up the used gauzes.

Turning her attention for the first time on Edward, she said, "I know you're scared and confused, Edward Elric."

She left a wide-eyed Edward behind while she put the first-aid kit back where it belonged.

"Paquito is in a state of suspended animation, like being in a coma," she added as she placed the used gauzes in a trash can. She turned around. "My name is Matilde, and I'm Paquito's wife."

Matilde sat back on the same stool she'd been sitting when Edward noticed her presence. She patted the floor. "Come closer, dear. I'm not going to hurt you."

Did she actually call to him like a fucking pet? Edward's nose scrunched up.

Matilde noticed his displeasure.

"I didn't mean to offend you, Ed. May I call you, Ed?" When Edward didn't answer, she added, "I know you have questions and I have the answers to those questions." A smile spread across her face. "You can trust me."

 _Trust?_ Edward felt spitting at the word. "Trust" is what had gotten him into this mess in the first place so he wasn't going to offer it freely anymore.

Edward glared at Matilde as he paced around the hut, making sure he kept his distance from her. Matilde's face went back to neutral when she realized he was being uncooperative.

A few minutes passed by in dead silence.

After a while, Matilde said, "I don't blame you, Edward." she smoothed the wrinkles of her long skirt. "Paquito can be quite difficult sometimes."

 _"Difficult?"_ Pulling the wool over someone's eyes is considered "being difficult"?

"That asshole you have for a husband drugged me, ma'am."

"That he did," Matilde mumbled out loud. She offered Edward a rueful smile when she realized what she'd done but that only made Edward even angrier.

Her smile faded. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be cheeky." She sighed. "I can tell you what's happened after he did this to you. Do you want to hear the story?"

 _"Did this to you?"_ Matilde made it sound like she was going to tell him a cheesy horror story.

Still, Edward decided to sit, and when he did, he caught sight of a golden tail. He drew in a harsh breath, then asked, "I really got turned into a cat, didn't I?"

Matilde offered him a look of sympathy. "Actually, you weren't transformed into a cat, your mind and soul were transferred into Domingo's body."

Edward's jaw gaped open. A couple of seconds were spent on trying to understand what he just heard.

And when finally got a grip of himself, Matilde asked, "Do you want to see?"

Edward hesitated at first but ended nodding. He stood up and walked towards the woman.

Matilde took out a small compact mirror out of a pocket in her skirt. "What you're about to see is going to be shocking so try to keep yourself as calm as possible."

Matilde searched Edward's face for an answer and found none. She sighed in resignation. "Okay, I'm going to show you how you look. She opened the compact mirror. "Now Edward please try not to freak out—"

Edward's eyes rounded; Domingo's face was staring back at him.

The shock made him leap backward, and he crashed into some metal pots. The loud bangs of the cookware crashing to the dirt floor set his nerves on fire. He scrambled away as if his life depended on it.

He stopped near Don Paco's bed, his heart thundering hard in his ribcage.

"Oh-shit, oh-shit, oh-shit—!" _This is real!_ His heart sank. "This is fucking real!"

"Edward!" Matilde's voice brought him back to the moment.

Not even the rasps of his own labored breaths could prevent Edward from going on the offensive. His eyes searched around until they located the older woman, who at some point had gotten up and was already heading his way.

"Stay the fuck away!" he hissed.

Matilde stopped. She turned back and sat down on her stool, and patiently waited for Edward to calm down.

After a while, Edward asked, "How?" he paused to take a calming breath. Right after, he added, "How did he do it?"

Matilde looked away from him for a second. When she looked back at him, she said, "By performing the Ritual of Transcendence."

"That bastard told me the ritual was used to open passages between realms!" Edward snapped.

Matilde's expression softened. "And it does. Both the mind and soul reside at a higher frequency than the body—a higher realm if you want to get technical." She paused. "And it can also be used to interchange these subtle bodies."

"Just great...just-fucking-great," Edward groused, mostly to himself.

He turned to Don Paco who looked like a fresh corpse in his bed. Then he turned to Matilde.

"Let me get this straight," he began, "the Ritual of Transcendence opens up gateways between dimensions, but it can also be used to alter the basic composition of living organisms?"

Matilde smiled. "So you're an alchemist?"

Edward didn't answer that. He deflected Matilde's question by asking one of his own. "Your husband's body and Domingo's are here and accounted for. Where the hell is mine?"

Matilde sighed then said, "It's not here."

Edward would pinch the bridge of his nose if he could but he was inhabiting the body of a fucking cat!

"Please tell me that Domingo roaming somewhere out there in my body?" he grumbled.

Matilde shook her head. "Now that would be silly!"

Her cheeky comment earned her a well-deserved glare. She shook her head again.

"Edward, Paquito switched places with Domingo, so he's the one in command of your body."

Edward glanced at Don Paco. "It is safe to assume that Domingo's mind and soul are inside his body?"

Matilde nodded.

A low, angry growl rumbled in Edward's chest. "Then why didn't you stop him if you knew all this!"

Matilde's eyebrows huddled together. "I didn't know he was up to his old tricks again, Ed."

"Bullshit!" Edward spat at her face. He was fooled once, he wasn't going to let that happen again. "And you know what—" he blasted, but had put on the breaks on his rant.

Edward sat on his hind legs as he came to a stark realization: Don Paco never mentioned he had a wife.

"Funny," he said as he got up and walked towards Matilde. "Your husband never mentioned you."

He jumped on the table to be at eye-level with her.

As he got closer, Edward peered into Matilde's eyes, eyes that reminded him of Don Paco's. "Answer me this," he said, scowling. "Are you his accomplice?"

Matilde's mouth dropped open and she gaped like a fish out of the water.

What is it with these people and their over-the-top theatrics?

"Ugh—! Will you stop that already?" Edward snapped.

He got closer to Matilde until she was about to become cross-eyed.

"Tell me your role in all this!" Edward snarled.

Matilde gulped. "I was visiting my sister over at El Paso. I just returned a couple of hours ago to find this mess."

Matilde's shoulders sagged and her expression sagged along with them as well. "Imagine walking almost one click, uphill, and in the middle of the night simply because the man that brought you here is frightened of your husband. And on top of that, you enter into your house only to find a handsome blond man depositing your unresponsive husband on his bed."

Edward didn't see that coming. He moved away from her face.

"So you really didn't have anything to do with all this?" he asked after he sat on his hind legs.

Matilde shook her head and said, "Para nada."

Edward remained silent as he digested the new information.

Matilde swore that she wasn't part of the ploy to swap his body with a cat's, and so far, he believes her. What this meant is that Don Paco acted alone, and the old bastard went to great lengths into trying to get hold of his body. But...what was so special about his body? His body couldn't perform alchemy and it has seen better days too. So...what was he missing?

He returned his attention to Matilde.

"Where is your husband now? Did he go back to town?"

As Edward asked the new questions it dawned on him that Matilde didn't do anything to stop her husband from leaving.

"Why did you let him go?" he demanded, scowling darkly.

Matilde's dark eyes took a solemn expression. "Mijo," she started, "Do you think a shriveled up thing like me could've stopped a stubborn old man while he's in control of a younger model?"

Edward would've undoubtedly blushed if he'd been in his human body, but because he was trapped a cat's body, his ears instinctively turned flat against his head.

"No, of course not," he said softly, his tone almost sounding like an apology.

He then looked back to Don Paco. Without taking his eyes off the comatose man, Edward asked, "Can this—hex, curse—be reversed?"

Matilde crossed her arms in front of her chest as she considered the question.

"Yes, I believe it can be reversed, but you first need to gather everyone who got switched," she said after a long pause. "You also need a Sanguine Star to power-up the spell."

"A Sanguine Star? But of course..." Edward sneered. _Of course the bastard used his Philosopher's Stone!_

"Is something the matter?" Matilde asked. "Your tail is puffing."

Edward ignored that. "I'm going after your husband," he said instead.

Looking at Don Paco's body one more time, he added, "I don't know yet how I'm going to do it but I'm going to drag his sorry ass back here and I'll make him put everything back the way it was."

Edward waited for Matilde to object; she didn't. Matilde was keeping to herself, staring at a hand-woven tapestry hanging on the panel closer to her.

Edward thanked her and said that he would be able to find his own way out.

"Edward, wait," Matilde called when he was about to push through the exit."Paquito mentioned to me before leaving that he was going to head to Amestris before leaving," she said.

Edward frowned. "Did he say why?"

Matilde crossed her arms in front of her sagging chest. "He said he had some business to tend to in Resembool."

"Resembool?"

Edward's ears flattened against his head as a sharp stabbing sensation afflicted his right temporal. He lowered to the floor, wincing in pain.

 _"Guess what, cano? I'm going to your hometown to meet your girl! I bet she'll be so happy to see me—I meant to say, 'you'." A raucous cackle. "I wonder how her lips taste like?" An even louder cackle. "I wonder how she tastes like?—get my drift?"_

"What the hell was that?" he grimaced.

Matilde didn't see or hear him, she was heading to the window when his head started hurting.

Matilde pushed on the window cover and peered outside. Rose gold was starting mingle with the indigo of the night, giving the sky the appearance of a graded watercolor wash.

Edward hissed. This time, Matilde heard him.

She turned to Edward. "Did you say something?"

"My head—" Edward began but the pain forced him to stop.

Matilde studied him. "Migraine is a side effect of the drug. Paquito gave some to Domingo, it's part of the ritual." She studied him some more then said, "You just had a moment of recall, didn't you?"

Edward nodded, it was all he could do at the moment.

Matilde offered him a sympathetic smile. "It'll wear off soon, I promise." She added, "I don't know if you will remember everything but you should be able to remember what happened up until the moment Paquito did the switch with Domingo."

"Matilde, I—" he suffered another stab in his temporal.

 _"You should've gone all the way with her when you had the chance, cano."_

Edward shook his head, then looked at Matilde. "I gotta go."

He pushed with his head the fabric covering the entrance to the hut. He was already halfway out when he decided to go back into the hut.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" he asked expectantly.

Matilde brought a hand to her chin. "Well, your mind and soul are residing in the body of a cat so I guess that means that you'll need to get accustomed to being a cat."

Edward gave her a flat glare; he wasted precious seconds on something he could've figured out on his own.

He turned around to leave, but Matilde wasn't finished speaking.

"Most people aren't in-tune with Gaea. What this means is that they won't be able to understand a word you say. All they will hear is you meowing. No one likes a cat that meows too much so try to keep your it to a minimum."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Edward said then turned around once again and left the hut for good.

.

.

.

Edward sprinted back to town as fast as his new body could muster.

There was no time to spare, he needed to find Don Paco at all costs. Because that bastard needed to pay dearly for what he'd done.

.

.

* * *

The story will start revving up pretty soon. Chapter 4 should be posted sometime next weekend. n_n

 **Would love to hear what you think, so please R &R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello dear readers!** I've been gone for a while now, but I had my reasons. Head over to Tumblr to read all about it. **So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang** (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

 **Note: So a scene in this chapter was illustrated by the talented Dzioo.** She told me that what happened in this specific chapter made her want to draw the scene. She's right, her take on the scene was funny. I love the way she draws expressions no matter the subject. She did an outstanding job. Please support her work. Dzioo is on Tumblr and Deviant Art, just put the name in the search field (or just go to my AO3 page which will have actual links to her pages).

* * *

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.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 4**

"Oh my goodness!" Mei exclaimed as she turned to Winry—flaky crumbs shooting everywhere. "Alphonse-sama told me your apple pie was good, but I had no idea it was this delicious."

Winry, who just finished serving a slice of pie to Alphonse, glanced at the Xinguese princess then turned her attention back to him.

"Just 'good', huh?" she said, her eyebrows twitching in irritation.

Alphonse laughed nervously only served to fuel the fire of Winry's anger. He'd been on the receiving end of a flying wrench before, and while his brother Edward was immune to blunt force trauma, he wasn't. His eyes sought Pinako, who was sitting at the head of the table, silently listening to the conversation.

The old woman turned to Alphonse when she felt his eyes on her. Alphonse was offering her his most charming smile, the one that he liked to use when he wanted something to go his way.

Pinako let out and irritated sigh. "That's not what you use to say when you lived here."

An impish smile spread across Winry's face.

She returned to Mei's side, and while eyeing Alphonse, she said, "Did you know he sobbed like a newborn baby when he first tried one of my pies?"

"Winry!" Alphonse's face turned bright red.

Mei looked at Winry then at Alphonse, her round eyes sparkled with amusement.

Alphonse hid his face in his hand.

Mei tried not to laugh at him at first, but then Alphonse started groaning, and she couldn't hold back anymore. A stream of giggles poured out of her mouth like a water out of a spring. Both Winry and Pinanko looked at each other and started laughing.

Alphonse sat low in his chair and groaned.

The raucous laughter that reverberated in the dining room soon began to dwindle. As it came to a stop, Winry became lost in the scene unraveling before her.

Mei had leaned closer to Alphonse to console him. Her grandmother, in turn, gazed at the young couple the same way she gazed at her and Edward when he was around.

Winry's eyes turned her attention to the empty chair to her grandmother's right. Her grip tightened on the handles of the serving tray, and her expression turned distant as she wondered about the kinds of trouble Edward was getting himself into at that precise moment.

"You see, Mei? That's the pouting I was telling you about."

Leave it to an Elric to break her reverie.

Winry slid her eyes Alphonse's way. "You weren't talking about me, right Al?"

Alphonse held his hands up in surrender. "Nope, not at all," he said, grinning.

Winry raised a thin eyebrow. She stared at him in silence, deliberately stretching the seconds just to see if the younger Elric would buckle under the weight of her scrutiny. But Alphonse has always been a tough cookie to crack.

Winry broke her silence. "Just checking," she said, then she paused again to see if her words would have an effect on Alphonse. They didn't. "Because you know how much I love anecdotes," she pressed and paused again. But Alphonse remained as calm as before.

It was time to take off the gloves.

A wicked smile spread across her face. "Al, do you remember that conversation we had before you left to Xing?"

This time Alphonse reacted. His face paled and his gorgeous eyes became as round as an owl's.

Winry could've sworn? she saw begging in his eyes; her smile spread even wider.

And she went for the kill.

"You know, the one about what girls like and don't like?" Her comment made Mei blush and Alphonse squirm in his seat.

It took Alphonse a long moment to recover from Winry's humiliation, but when he did, he said, "That was low Win."

Alphonse was frowning at her so Winry frowned back at him.

"What? You can dish it out but you can take it?" she chided.

Alphonse clenched his jaw; Winry was sure making an excellent job at making him lose his temper. Edward would've already exploded in a fit of rage at being called out in the worst of ways. Lucky for Winry, he wasn't like his brother. His frown instantly vanished from his face, replaced by a wide smile. Alphonse waited a few seconds before laughing.

"Amazing!" he exclaimed as his laughter died down.

He waited for Winry to look at him before continuing. Once her eyes were on him, he said, "You're starting to sound just like Brother."

Winry eyebrows shot up. Alphonse shrugged his shoulders then gave the final blow.

"I get it. You miss him. I miss him too, but really, Winry, can you just stop already?"

Winry's face scrunched up in anger. "Why you—!"

Mei, who had been stuck in the middle of the battlefield raised the white flag of truce. "Guys, please don't fight," she pleaded.

Her words immediately reached Alphonse. He turned his attention to her. Mei's open expression, with her huge puppy eyes and her beautiful smile, had a way of calming him.

"Okay," he said, and his usual tender smile reappeared on his face.

"Aw…" Winry cooed. "You both are so cute!"

Alphonse glared at Winry. Turning to Mei, he offered her a beaming smile.

He got closer to her and whispered, "Just ignore her." He looked up to see Winry's scowl. Alphonse leaned back, and without taking his eyes away from Winry, he added, "She's envious because Ed's not here."

Winry's eyes widened; Alphonse's insolence caught her off guard. Her eyes narrowed to thin slits of contempt.

"That's not true Al, and you know it!" she roared.

She debated in her mind the possibility of smacking Alphonse in the head with the serving tray.

"That's enough, you two!" Pinako's voice raised above all others.

Staring at her granddaughter, she said, "Winry, where are your manners, girl?" Then she turned to Alphonse. "Is this the kind of behavior you want your girlfriend to see from you?"

Winry's face turned beet red. Alphonse sank lower in his chair.

Pinako turned to Mei. "I apologize on behalf of these two. They're usually more civilized than this."

Mei waved a hand in dismissal. "It's okay Mrs. Rockbell—"

"Call me Granny, my dear."

Mei nodded, blushing a bit. She cleared her throat, then said, "Granny, you should see my family gatherings."

"I can attest to that!" Alphonse chipped in.

Thinking of the last gathering, she said, "My big cousin Tao used to make fun of Alphonse-sama all the time." She glanced at Alphonse and smiled at him before returning her attention to Pinako. "Oh, the pranks he pulled on him!" she added, giggling a bit.

Winry's face lit up with sudden mischief. She abandoned the serving tray on the table and pulled out the chair next to Mei.

"Oooh, do tell!" she said with a lively smile as she sat.

Mei looked back at Alphonse. His eyes had grown wide making the subtle hints of gold stand out from the usual olive-green.

"Mei, please," he begged in a low whisper.

Winry heard it. She grabbed Mei's hand to get her attention.

"Don't listen to him, Mei," she said the moment the Xinguese princess looked at her.

Pinako raised her voice again. "Winry, that's enough!"

Winry flinched. She let go of Mei's hand and sat quietly on the chair, sulking.

Pinako turned to both Mei and Alphonse. "I know you both just got in, but I was wondering, how long will you two be staying with us?"

Alphonse rubbed the back of his neck. "A couple of weeks?" he answered then glanced at Mei before adding, "That is if you don't mind us staying that long."

"Of course I don't mind, dummy." Pinako almost rolled her eyes at him. "I needed to know so we can have the spare room ready for you." She then turned to Mei. "You, my dear, will be sleeping in the boy's old room."

Winry started sniggering but stopped when Pinako narrowed her glare on her.

Alphonse picked up where he left off. "Mei wants to explore Amestris," he said while giving Mei a loving smile.

Mei held his gaze for a few seconds then tore her eyes away from him to say, "I really fell in love with this country and its people."

 _More like with one person in particular._ Winry leaned her head on her hand and offered the young couple a knowing smile.

Den's frantic barking brought the conversation to a screeching halt. Everyone looked at each other, then towards the direction of the front door. Den's barking continued to escalate.

Winry stood up from her chair. "I wonder what's gotten into him?"

"Wait here," Alphonse said to Winry. He pushed his chair back and stood up. "I'll go check up on Den."

She nodded then sat back down.

Alphonse left the dining room. The three women exchanged glances while they waited for him to return.

Mei scrunched the skirt of her attire. "What if something happened to Xiao Mei?" she said as her eyes moved from Winry to Pinako.

Winry offered her a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry. Nothing utterly terrible happens around these parts."

"Brother!" Alphonse's happy cry boomed throughout all the house.

Winry stilled. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the familiar thud-clack in Edward's strides. She let out a gasp.

Alphonse entered the dining room first, sporting a beaming smile. He stood to one side to let his older brother in.

 _Ed..._ Winry felt the sting of tears in her eyes. The pace of her heart quickened when their gazes met.

She stood up.

Winry took one step then another until she reached Edward.

Wrapping her arms around his broad back, she said, "Welcome home!"

Pinako smiled at Edward, so did Alphonse. Mei, on the other hand, couldn't help but scowl at him.

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A strong jerk woke up Edward. His reflexes—that is, Domingo's reflexes—went into high gear. He had to stop the urge of jumping away from the ledge he was sleeping on.

"Stupid cat reflexes," he grumbled as he laid back down.

His eyes searched around before settling upon those that were looking back at him. Even in the dark, he could clearly see the flock of sheep. One of them locked eyes with him and bleated.

Edward stood up and walked the length of the ledge perched high in the cargo wagon. His stomach growled. The sound was so loud that some of the sheep closest to him bumped onto one another. Ignoring the dumb beasts, Edward took another look around to see if he could find something to eat. He found nothing. Just thinking about food made his stomach complain again. He sighed.

Edward slowly splayed out on the shelve. His body conformed to the surface like some type of viscous liquid found in an alchemy laboratory.

 _Cats sure were strange creatures..._

The rest of his thoughts faded into the background as his mind wandered back to the events of the last few days.

He happened to catch his reflection in a storefront window while he roamed the only street in Little Big Canyon. He'd been looking around for a truck with no cargo in its bed. An empty bed meant the owner completed his business in town and would be going back to the city, and most cities lied east.

Edward approached the store and sat before the large window pane. He carefully studied his reflection. Somewhere deep inside of him still entertained the idea that he was hallucinating and what'd happened until that moment had been a product of his own imagination. Sadly, that wasn't the case. The image reflected on the window pane was Domingo's. He got closer to the window and noticed a tuft of golden hair sticking out from the top of his feline head. The tuft of hair reminded him of the way he styled his own hair—with a piece of hair sticking up in the air.

Edward's eyes narrowed in contempt. He didn't find the irony of the situation funny back then and he didn't find it funny now. His mood got ruined within seconds.

Edward tried to shake away the dark feelings by turning to a game of guessing the train's current location. He remembered that it took him around forty-eight hours to travel from Resembool to Table City. One day and night have already gone by ever since he snuck inside the train back at Table City. Since sunlight left the cargo wagon a while ago, Edward deduced that the train would be arriving at Resembool pretty soon.

He couldn't wait to get off the damn train.

It was imperative for him to reach Rockbell Automail as fast as he could, firstly to make sure Don Paco hadn't hurt Winry in any way, but mainly because he was starving.

Shivers ran down his spine just thinking about the feast he had two days ago. He and the poor mouse he'd hunted down didn't see it coming. Domingo's instincts had kicked in, and before he knew it, he was holding his prize in his mouth. He dropped the dead rodent when he felt warm liquid filling his mouth. At the time he wanted to turn around and look for something else to eat but his taste buds had already savored the metallic tang of blood. And his feline instincts took over, once again.

Edward squirmed in disgust. He could still feel his borrowed fangs sinking, piercing the thick layer of fur so they could reach the tender flesh. He could still hear the sounds of flesh ripping; the mouse's insides were so soft that they practically had melted in his mouth.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut. If he could, he would cover his ears too.

Life as a cat hadn't been easy for him.

Food had been a huge issue but finding places to relieve himself wasn't far behind. Edward was no stranger to having to do his business out in the open. He did it during his training at Yoki Island, also while he was on the run with Greedling, Darius, and Heinkel. Leaves always did their job, but now, he couldn't even wipe his behind.

Edward's ears flattened against his head just thinking about his woes.

To make things worse, he'd been having vivid recollections of what happened after he drank Don Paco's potion during the Ritual of Transcendence.

He mostly remembered Don Paco celebrating the fact that he was able to dupe him. Not only did Don Paco lie about what the Transcendence Ritual was about, he vaguely recalled the bastard using his Philosopher's Stone when he'd promised not use it. Before performing the switch, Don Paco rubbed in his face that he knew he wanted to take over his body the moment he peered into his life memories. The man even complimented him by saying he was a true warrior, that it was an honor to have his body as his new replacement.

Having his body stolen was a terrible experience in itself but what bothered him the most was the message in the memories of his most recent recall. Don Paco mentioned that he would love to have Winry's body too. Edward still didn't know what the man meant by this. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to wait to find it out.

The train whistle reverberated throughout the wagon; Edward wasn't prepared for the ear-splitting shrill. He fell off the shelf but made a safe landing on the bottom of the wagon.

Before he had a chance to process what just happened, he was already jumping back again to get away from danger. The sheep around him were beginning to get restless so Edward jumped on a barrel then jumped on the adjacent crates until he managed to return to his safe spot on top of the ledge.

"Stupid cat reflexes…" he grumbled again while he found a comfortable place to lie down.

The train whistle sounded again but this time Edward didn't jump, he didn't even flinch. His tail was snaking from excitement, though.

Resembool was a couple of minutes away now.

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Winry turned to the Xinguese princess, and said, "This is delicious!"

Mei wasn't accustomed to being on the receiving end of praise so it wasn't surprising that she felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

She held Winry's gaze and offered her a genuine smile. "I'm glad you liked it!"

Winry smiled back then turned to Alphonse who was sitting next to Mei. "That goes for you too, Al. You've turned out to be a great cook."

Alphonse took Mei's hand in his. "It's all thanks to her," he answered, his face turning red as he looked at her.

Winry couldn't help but smile tenderly at them. "I'm so happy for you guys. You two sure make a cute couple."

Edward mimicked Alphonse and took one of Winry's hands in his. Winry turned to him. For a long moment, their eyes locked in an intense gaze. But then Edward broke contact when he returned his attention back to Alphonse.

"I can't believe my baby brother has a girlfriend!" he said, grinning.

Alphonse's face changed a few shades redder. He spent a couple of moments watching his brother before shifting his attention towards Winry. "And I can't believe Winry's with you," he said. Turning back to Edward, he added, "The good people of Resembool should erect a statue in her honor simply for having you as her boyfriend."

Everyone around the table laughed, except for Mei.

Her face went from placidly amused to neutral as she studied Edward. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong with her future brother-in-law. She couldn't fully explain what she was sensing neither. If she had to put her feelings into words, she would say that Edward wasn't Edward at all, but another person entirely.

But that couldn't be. She looked at Xiao Mei who was resting on her lap. The poor girl was exhausted from keeping her guard up around Edward, just like Den had been doing even since he came back home. She always liked to observe animals when they're around people because animals can sense when things are amiss, and something was definitely happening in that household. For now, she was going to keep that information to herself or at least until she could figure out exactly what was going on. She petted her companion and offered her a tender smile when she looked up at her.

Pinako grumbled something under her breath. "That's enough, boys," she uttered in an exasperated tone. Both Edward and Alphonse straightened up in their chairs. Pinako then turned to Winry. "Can you please get the dessert ready?"

Winry acknowledged her grandmother's words with a nod.

Turning her eyes back on the brothers, Pinako added, "Alphonse, please bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen, and Edward, it's your turn to wash them."

Edward frowned. "I don't wash dishes."

Winry her raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

Edward rubbed the back of his head, realizing his mistake. "Just kidding!" he grinned.

He wasn't going to wait for Winry to say something more. He stood up and began helping Alphonse with the plates.

"Brother, you don't have to do this," Alphonse said, but Edward ignored him.

Mei didn't add anything to the conversation. She continued petting Xiao Mei and keeping an eye on Edward.

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Edward sprinted across the small hill that led to Rockbell Automail. Earlier he managed to jump out the bed of a moving pickup truck without getting hurt. Maybe being stuck inside a cat's body wasn't as bad as he thought it to be; the speed and agility weren't bad neither.

After a few minutes of running, Edward finally spotted the yellow house. His heart would've been filled with emotion if it wasn't for the urgency of the current situation. On top of that, he was starting to feel weak from the lack of food but he wasn't going to let that deter him from his mission.

Edward stopped a couple of yards away from the front of the house. He lowered himself closer to the ground and looked around. He couldn't see Den but he heard him barking.

Edward lifted himself up and threaded lightly. He scurried across the open field when he got closer to the house. He then headed straight for the small rock wall standing next to the main trail leading to the front entrance then walked along the line of the wall until he reached the end. He craned his head up and sniffed; Den wasn't close by.

Looking left, then right, Edward ran up the stairs and climbed on the balustrade.

Thankfully the rail was high enough for him to look through the windows. His feline eyes widened when he spotted his younger brother. Mei Chan was sitting next to him.

A sense of relief immediately washed over him. It looked like Granny and Winry hadn't been alone with that maniac for long.

Edward craned his neck higher and saw Granny sitting in her usual spot. Winry and that bastard who stole his body were nowhere to be found. Cold dread balled up in the pit of his stomach. Then questions began plaguing his mind.

Winry? Where was she? Was she with Don Paco? Was he even in the house, let alone in Resembool?

A low growl rumbled in his chest, interrupting his litany of woes.

Mei looked at Alphonse, and asked, "Did you hear that?"

"Shit!" Edward jumped off the ledge and pressed himself against the cinder blocks.

He waited a few minutes before going up the stairs and sitting back on the rail. When he went back to his spot, he saw Winry and Don Paco sitting next to each other directly across from Alphonse and Mei. Don Paco had his arm over Winry's shoulder.

"That fucker—!" Edward seethed.

His impostor said something that made everyone laugh—it made Edward growl.

He realized what he'd done so he jumped off the rail before someone saw him.

 _What is that asshole scheming?_ Edward looked up at the window when another wave of laughter reached his fluffy ears.

He growled again in disdain. But his moment of seething was cut short.

Edward sensed movement behind him. The distinct scent of dog hair and motor oil flooded his nostrils.

 _Fuck-fuck-fuck!_ He slowly turned around and came face-to-face with Den's penetrating gaze.

A low growl started from Den's chest. No teeth were bared—yet.

"Hey there bud, it's me, Ed," Edward said. There was no harm in trying to speak to the dog—from one animal to another.

Den's growl increased, then he barked.

 _Oh, hell…_

Edward's animal instincts kicked in again. The hairs on his back raised to end.

He heard himself hissing a warning at Den. _Back the fuck away._

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I've been told that Ed is adorable in this story... Chapter 5 is still being beta'd. I will post it as soon as I have it in my hands. n_n

 **Would love to hear what you think, so please R &R!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3. **Posting early because I won't be around this weekend.**

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 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

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 **Chapter 5**

A succulent dinner in the company of loved ones; Winry knew there wasn't anything else she could ask for in life. She wasn't trying to be corny or silly in her way of thinking, and she wasn't trying to be overly dramatic either. She had reasons, solid reasons for thinking—and even feeling—the way she did.

Time at the table had been something she used to hate. For years silence had been her loyal companion at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Food did tend to taste better whenever her grandmother joined her at the table but those were rare occasions because Pinako wasn't a chatty person by nature. Then the day came, after years of questing, when the brothers finally were home, and she finally began looking forward to gatherings around the table. Edward and Alphonse, and their silly antics had a way to liven up the atmosphere—and they still did—but now that Mei Chan joined their gatherings, everything sort of became perfect like when automail components come together to make-up one extraordinary piece of machinery.

Winry's reverie was cut short by sounds coming from outside. She blinked several times as she settled back into the present moment. "What was that?" she asked the group because she thought she heard something else besides Den's barking. Seconds later, 'that something' was heard loud and clear.

"Looks like Den made a new friend," Granny said after taking a long drag from her pipe.

Alphonse's brows bunched together in worry. He pushed back the chair and stood up. "I'm going outside," he said before hurrying out of the dining room. Quick steps turned into a hasty stride as he went down the hallway to reach the front door.

Mei stood up and went after him. The older Elric scooped up some ice cream and pie and shoved it in his mouth. Winry was still undecided about going outside or staying inside like her grandmother and her boyfriend had done.

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"Dammit Den!" Edward growled again, "Just let me go already!"

The front door slammed open. Alphonse stood in front of the stairs looking around to see where Den and the cat were at. He happened to look down, and to his right, and that's when he saw Den holding the cat in his mouth.

Edward knew the scene unraveling before his brother's eyes looked far worse than it really was. Somehow Den had recognized him even in his current form. The dog slobbered him with kisses before picking him up like a puppy.

"Den! Put that cat down this instant!" Alphonse demanded.

The dog didn't heed his warning so he rushed down the stairs to save the cat. "Let go!" He cried as he grabbed Den's snout and forced it open. Den whimpered. Alphonse only let him go when the cat landed safely on the ground.

Den raised his eyes at Alphonse and whined again, but Alphonse shot back a cold glare. Den's ears flattened against his head and he began pedaling backward.

Mei rushed past Alphonse and went to Den's side. The poor dog looked confused so she sank to her knees and tried to console him.

"What on earth is going on?" Winry asked as she looked over the balustrade. She rushed outside when he heard Alphonse yelling.

Mei looked up. "Den was holding that cat in his mouth," she said, pointing in the general direction of where the cat was.

Winry followed Mei's finger and saw Alphonse with a golden-haired cat in his arms. He was sheltering the cat as if it'd been hurt. Her eyes narrowed a fraction then she shook her head. "That's impossible. Den would never do that," Winry said as she returned her attention to Mei.

"Well he did, Winry," Alphonse snapped.

Winry turned back to Alphonse, who was still resting a protective hand on the Edward's back. She was glowering at Alphonse but her angry expression made her look like she was pouting.

Winry's glare amused Edward, it wasn't everyday that he got to see her unleash her fury at someone other than himself. Out of nowhere, she turned her full attention on him, catching him by surprise. _Why the sudden shift?_ Edward thought. Maybe she sensed that he'd been observing her. A moment later, he caught a familiar gleam in her eye that made his breath catch in his throat. To him, Winry's stare felt as if she was peering into his very soul. _But that couldn't be..._ Unfortunately for Edward, he didn't get a chance to process what was happening because Don Paco decided to grace them all with his presence.

The man stepped into the balcony and made his way to the balustrade. Standing between Winry and the stairs, he looked down like Winry had done minutes ago. His face drew down in a fearsome scowl the moment he spotted him.

Edward scowled back at the man who stole his body with the same intensity. _That's right, fucker. I'm home,_ he wanted to say but didn't.

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Edward scowled back at Don Paco, the man who'd stole his body and trapped his mind and soul inside the body of a cat.

Edward, that is, Don Paco, curled his hands tightly around the handrail.

Den happened to look up and growled. Mei had to hold him back or he would've charged his way upstairs.

Alphonse turned his head when he saw movement. His face twisted with furious disbelief. "Stop it, Den!" he yelled. The dog lowered his head and whined. But not even this was going to calm Alphonse. "What's the matter with you boy?" he spat.

Mei let go of Den and watched him run to his doghouse. Sighing, she rose up to her feet and approached Alphonse. Her ebony eyes confronted his glare. "Alphonse-sama..." She offered him a gentle smile. "Please calm down."

"What is all the ruckus about?" Pinako asked as she joined her granddaughter and the impostor on the balcony.

"Den caught a cat roaming around," Winry said, her snappish tone betraying her apparent composure.

"'Caught'?" Alphonse snapped back at her. "More like he was going to have the poor thing for dinner."

Winry gripped the handrail hard. "You know Den's not like that!"

Don Paco the impostor, reached around Winry and pulled her close to him but Winry was so rattled by all the squabbling that she jerked away.

Alphonse narrowed his eyes at Winry. "Well _Den_ "—he spitefully emphasized the dog's name—"has been acting strange ever since Ed got back. Did you forget already how he nipped at him when he tried to pet him?"

Edward's feline eyes rounded. He could feel his brother's emotions through the hairs of his fur. And right now what he was registering wasn't good. He looked up at Winry. Like his brother, she too was reaching the limit of her patience. He couldn't help but look away. The two people he loved most in this world were fighting with each other; this too was his fault. He looked up again but this time he directed a pointed stare at Don Paco. For some strange reason that went beyond logic, Don Paco was actually trying to calm Winry just like Mei had been doing for his brother.

 _And they haven't been successful,_ he concluded. It was up to him to make things right.

Edward had served as referee many times before. Alphonse had acquired a bit of an attitude after he returned to his original body. Blame it on puberty; maybe he was always supposed to be this way. While his brother often butted heads with him there were a few occasions he took the fight to Winry. And she always welcomed the challenge. It would be so easy to put a stop to their bickering if they could understand him, but he was stuck in the body of a cat.

That got Edward thinking. Alphonse was a sucker for cats—defending him is what got him into trouble with Winry in the first place. Right now he was nestled in his brother's arms. _Cats purr,_ he thought. He'd seen Alphonse melting into a puddle of mush before, so purring might work on him.

Edward looked up. The muscles of Alphonse's neck were as taut as the strings of a violin. _Well that sucks..._ Alphonse was far too gone to sense anything. He lowered his eyes to the ground.

What could he do? The answer came to him instantly.

Mewling was going to be something that would haunt him for years on end, but for Winry and Alphonse, he would swallow his pride and do it.

So Edward cleared his throat—and coughed. He sounded like he needed to cough out a hairball. The coughing must've been quite bad because Alphonse's worried eyes were now on him. _Think fast!_

Edward held Alphonse's gaze. His hairy eyebrows shot up and his eyes rounded; flickered. He held that sad face until it had an effect on his brother. Ten seconds was all it took for Alphonse to turn into putty.

 _Yes!_ That was a huge victory for him.

"What is it, kitty?" Alphonse moved his hand to the side of Edward's jaw and rubbed it. Shivers ran down Edward's spine. _Oh, that's good...so good._ He couldn't help but close his eyes and lose himself in the moment. He purred.

"You should get rid of that mangy cat, Al." Don Paco's contemptuous comment brought everything to a screeching halt.

Alphonse stilled his hand. He looked up, his eyes filled with confusion, his mouth struggling to form words. "What—? No, Brother!" He finally said when he snapped out of it.

Edward felt Alphonse's indignation through the hairs of his fur. He glowered at Don Paco. _The fucking idiot._ That man didn't know the type of mess he's gotten himself into.

"Look at it! Who knows where that thing has been!" Don Paco pressed on.

Alphonse frowned. "I don't care!" He held Edward tighter against his chest. "Can't you see he needs our help?" Don Paco couldn't help but sneer.

Winry scowled at the impostor. "What's the matter with you?"

Until that moment, Edward only cared about exacting revenge against the man who stole his body. But watching Don Paco panic was proving to be morbidly entertaining. "Way to go, asshole!" he gibed.

Mei's eyes widened. She slowly turned to the cat and stared at it for a brief moment before shifting her gaze toward Alphonse. His face didn't show any signs of alarm, nor did anyone else's for that matter.

Edward didn't catch Mei's reaction. He was much too preoccupied with Don Paco to care about anything else. He kept his eyes trained on the man, who just happened to step into Winry's personal space.

"Winry, my love, I just want the best for all of us," the impostor cooed. He even went as far as to cup a side of her face. "That cat could be carrying some terrible disease for all we know," he added while rubbing his thumb over her rosy cheek.

 _That arrogant sunnovabitch!_ Edward felt the hairs in his nape bristling. "Hey, asshole! The only sick thing around here is you!" If Edward hadn't been so riled up he would've heard Mei gasping.

A red-faced Winry took the impostor's hand in hers and lowered it. She searched his eyes, then after a pause, she said, "Ed, you've never cared about things like that before."

"I never have...cared?" the impostor fumbled to find the right words. Moments later, he was smiling with sheepish amusement. "I guess I never have, haven't I?"

 _Ah c'mon!_ "You just had to go and act stupid." Edward sneered, hating that Don Paco was making him look like a chump in front of Winry.

Mei inhaled a sharp breath.

Alphonse turned to his girlfriend. "Are you okay?" Mei was staring at the cat with wide, unblinking eyes. She glanced at Alphonse and gave him a quick smile before returning her attention to the cat.

Edward heard Alphonse's chest rumbling. He looked up and caught his brother staring at Mei. He too stared at her, but she averted her gaze when she noticed him watching her.

"If Al is okay with it, then I'm okay with it," said Don Paco.

Mei clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream.

Edward raised his eyebrows. Mei had a look of frozen dismay written all over her face as if she had made an important discovery.

"Al you can keep the cat. And you will assume full responsibility for it," Pinako said.

Edward put his thoughts on hold and turned his attention to Granny just like everyone else did.

Alphonse looked pleased with the verdict. But his triumphant smile was shot down by Pinako's pointed glare. "You better apologize to Den," she said just as Alphonse's expression was returning back to neutral.

Chuckling nervously, Alphonse turned to Den who not long ago came out of his doghouse to become a silent spectator. He offered the dog a genuine smile, and said, "Sorry, boy. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Den's hips swung from side to side fueled by the force of his wagging tail. His silly dance came to a stop when he rolled onto his back for a belly rub.

Edward jumped out of his brother's arms and moved out of the way. Alphonse stared at him, but then Den barked. He returned his attention back to the dog, who was wiggling on the floor like a worm. "Okay, okay," Alphonse said, chuckling and shaking his head as he approached the dog. He knelt on the ground and rubbed Den's spotted belly.

Edward sat on his hind legs while he watched everyone from the sidelines. Alphonse laughed while he goofed off with Den. Winry joined in the fun and soon was taking over for Alphonse. Granny Pinako gave his impostor a pointed glare—the dumbass probably did something stupid to piss her off. And Mei—well—she had been slowly inching her way towards him. When he met her gaze, he saw worry crisscrossing her delicate features. But all thought disappeared from his mind when the princess, out-of-the-blue, decided to scoop him up.

Turning to the group, she said, "Alphonse-sama I think the poor kitty is hungry."

Alphonse looked at Mei, then the cat, then back at Mei. "Sure," he said as he walked towards her.

Mei switched the cat to her left side and grabbed Alphonse by the hand. "Hey slow down!" Alphonse exclaimed when she started pulling. But Mei didn't stop. She did shush him, though. "Less talk, more walk," Mei said in a harsh whisper before tugging at his hand again.

She led Alphonse around the house of simply going through the front door to reach the kitchen. The impostor followed them with his eyes until they disappeared from sight.

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"Okay, Mei, will you tell me what's going on?" Alphonse asked while Mei let the cat down on the kitchen floor.

She made a shushing sound then looked at the entrance to the kitchen before setting her gaze back on Alphonse. "Something weird is going on," she whispered.

Alphonse shook his head. "The only weird thing in here is you." He glanced at Mei then let out a tired sigh.

Edward knew that sound all too well; his brother didn't want to get involved in another fight.

Alphonse left their side and headed to the cupboard where he grabbed a small saucer from one of the top shelves. He then went to the refrigerator and took out the milk. After filling the saucer halfway, he set it on the floor. "Come here kitty!" Alphonse said as he crouched next to the plate.

Edward ran towards his brother. He stuck his head in the plate but immediately pulled back; Alphonse raised his eyebrows at him. So Edward pushed past his hate for milk and decided to take another shot at drinking the vile secretion.

Meanwhile, Mei approached Alphonse. "Didn't you hear it?"

Alphonse let out another sigh. "Hear what?"

Edward perked his ears. Alphonse had tried to sound calm but irritation was evident in his voice.

Mei ignored Alphonse's pissy attitude. She looked again at the kitchen entrance before whispering, "Al, the cat can talk." She set her eyes on Edward. "Not only can the cat talk but he also sounds just like your older brother."

Edward choked on his milk; Alphonse let out a loud cackle.

"Keep it down!" Mei scolded Alphonse in a harsh whisper. Her eyes darted to the kitchen entrance again.

"Mei, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!" Alphonse said as he wiped mirthful tears from the corners of his eyes.

"Alphonse-sama!" Mei screeched in indignation, but Alphonse cut her off.

"Listen, I know our trip has been rough. Maybe three days of rest isn't long enough to feel fully recharged."

"But Alphonse-sama," Mei interrupted, but Alphonse was having none of it.

"Mei, please stop this nonsense!" He snapped at her. A second later, he said in a softer tone, "I think you're still feeling exhausted—I know I am." He paused a moment, then added, "Don't you think you could've been hearing things?"

Mei curled her hands into tight fists. "I know what I heard!" she snapped back.

Edward sauntered towards Mei, then, while looking directly at Alphonse, he said, "You should listen to your girlfriend, dumbass."

Mei snapped her head down and looked at Edward. "There! Did you hear it?" She cried out.

Alphonse offered her an uneasy smile. "The cat meowed. That's what cat's do."

 _So only Al's girl can hear me,_ Edward thought. It would've been nice if Alphonse could hear him too, it definitely would've made it easier to take Don Paco down if he did.

Just when despair started clouding his head, he remembered what Matilde said before he departed from the Far West.

"Gaea!" Edward cried out. "You can tune in to Gaea!" He said as he turned to Mei.

"Gaea?" Mei repeated.

"Yes, Gaea—Mother Nature!"

The excitement of the discovery made Edward forget about his situation for an instant. He spun around in a circle, sat on his hind legs one moment only to stand up the next. Unfortunately, he only noticed what he was doing when Mei started giggling.

Mei dropped to her knees to be closer to Edward. "Do you mean the Dragon's Pulse?"

"Yes, that thing you said!" Edward felt like leaping excitedly around the room but he sat on his hind legs to save himself from more embarrassment.

"Mei, really?" Alphonse scoffed, his eyebrows raised in utter disbelief.

Mei let out a frustrated sigh. "Alphonse-sama, try blocking out the ambient noise like I've taught you." Alphonse's eyes brows hiked up higher. "Just do it!" Mei yelled at him.

Alphonse frowned. "Okay-okay." He closed his eyes and drew in a long breath, which he released slowly. He opened his eyes and looked at Mei. "There."

"Talk to the cat."

Alphonse was about to complain but Edward shut him up. "Gee, Al, you sure can be a real handful when you want to," he said, then shook his head. "And people say I'm the pig-headed one."

Alphonse's eyes grew wide, and his mouth gaped open. A few heartbeats went by before he managed to suppress his shock. "What in the—?" Alphonse mumbled, and looked towards the kitchen entrance like his girlfriend had been doing. "How in blazes are you doing this?" he asked when he returned his attention back to her.

"I'm not doing anything!" Mei retorted.

"Listen, Al," Edward intruded, trying to capture his brother's attention. He waited for Alphonse's eyes to be on him before continuing. "This is really happening," he added.

Alphonse's scrutiny was intense. Edward knew his brother was going to react in one of two ways: either Alphonse was going to take things calmly or— "Al, don't freak—"

Alphonse let out a sharp gasp. "Hot dogs on a stick!"

Edward was now certain that his brother's calm and calculating disposition had been left with the armor. Still, he was expecting an entirely different reaction to the one Alphonse had. "'Hot dogs on a stick?'" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "No 'oh shit' or 'what the fuck'?"

Alphonse snapped out of his shock. "You know I don't like to curse, Bro—" He began admonishing, but then shut his mouth closed. His silence didn't last long. "This is crazy!" he cried.

Edward walked towards his brother and stopped when his front legs were about to touch the tip of Alphonse's shoes. Edward sat on his hind legs then he looked up. "Al, I know this is freaky—hell—I'm still freaking out myself."

Alphonse shook his head. "But how?"

"Alphonse-sama..." Mei took one of her boyfriend's hand in hers.

There was much Edward needed to tell them both so he spun around and headed for the table—hopefully, the would follow. He jumped on top of the table, then sat down. After taking a deep breath, he started telling his story.

"Magick," he said in a somber tone.

"What do you mean by 'magic'?" Alphonse was quick to interrupt.

"'Magic—k'," Edward corrected by stressing the sound of the letter 'K' in the word. "Magick with a 'K' is not the same as magic without the 'K', as you can see." He stood up and modeled around the table to drive the point across.

Alphonse pressed two fingers to his temple.

"Edward, who did this to you?" Mei asked.

Edward's expression darkened. "A sorcerer."

"A sorcerer?" Alphonse repeated.

"As in the kind that can cast spells and shit," Edward explained, then he fell silent. His thoughts went to the moment before passing out. "But this one can also use alchemy," he added after he returned his attention to them.

Edward knew, by the look of complete shock drawn on their faces, that he needed to elaborate, so he continued. "He has a Sanguine Star—a Philosopher's Stone." He paused to give them enough time to absorb the new bit of information. Then he said, "He might've used the stone to do this to me."

Alphonse groaned; and Mei put her hands on his sagging shoulders.

"Are you—?" She began but stopped talking abruptly. Her eyebrows arched and her expression darkened.

Edward understood her perfectly. Shaking his head, he said, "I'm not a chimera, Mei, but I think Don Paco used the same process of affixing the mind and soul onto something else, in this case, his cat."

"Dammit, Ed! How could you be so careless?" Alphonse bellowed.

Edward looked away in shame. Alphonse and Mei also avoided looking at each other. And the seconds stretched out in silence.

But the stillness didn't last for long; Edward's stomach roared with the fierceness of a lion. Both Alphonse and Mei turned their eyes back to him and caught Edward with his ears flattened against his head.

"Al, I haven't eaten much in two days...I'm starving," Edward said in a mortified tone.

"Brother..." Alphonse muttered. His face softened quite a bit and so had his tone of voice.

Alphonse motioned to pick up the saucer. "Um, since you're a cat now—"

"Don't you fucking dare serve me more milk!" Edward hissed. He could still smell that stinky secretion all over his snout. "I only drank some of it because I was starving." He shuddered, then shuddered some more.

Alphonse let out a snicker. "Got it. No more milk for the kitty." He waited for Edward to glower at him before continuing, "We still have some leftovers from the other day." A pause. "It's beef stew, by the way, but since you don't want any more milk, and the stew has milk in it—"

Edward bared his fangs at him. "Do you want me to scratch your face?"

Alphonse burst out laughing, so did Mei.

"One beef stew coming up!"

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Edward did well in telling Alphonse and Mei to sit down before telling the rest of his story.

"Okay..." Alphonse started but fell silent. The tale of a body-snatcher sorcerer from the Far West had been hard to digest. Edward had managed to explain things well but there were still some loose ends in the story. Alphonse looked at Mei and saw in her face that she was thinking along similar lines.

"Don Paco took my body for himself," Edward said, his words left both Alphonse and Mei stunned.

Xiao Mei, who decided to join the group a while back, approached her companion. She sniffed one of her hands before rubbing the side of her face against it. Mei gathered her in her arms.

"How?" Alphonse muttered to himself. Turning to Edward, he said, "That sorcerer had us all fooled, Brother. I mean, he knows things—private details of our lives."

Edward remained silent for a brief moment. "I don't know how he's doing it," he admitted, frowning. "This man is more dangerous than I ever anticipated."

Mei stopped petting Xiao Mei. She looked at Alphonse then at Edward, and said, "Gomenasai, Edward, I shouldn't have suggested coming back inside. That creep is right now out there with Winry and Granny...I just hope they're okay."

Xiao Mei's ears perked up, then she started growling at the kitchen entrance. Edward snapped his head in that direction too.

"Hey, guys!" Don Paco said as he stepped into view. Edward and Xiao Mei bristled while Alphonse and Mei jumped out of their chairs.

Don Paco put his hands on his hips and grinned. "Sorry to interrupt your meeting but you two"—he pointed a finger at Alphonse then at Mei—"were taking so long that I decided to get you." Then he turned his full attention to Edward. "Cano," he called, his grin transforming into a wicked one. "Were you fibbing about me?"

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Um, thanks "guest" for your reviews! Chapter 6 should be posted sometime next weekend. n_n

 **This story is quite different from what I tend to write. I would love to know what you think, so please R &R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 6**

Out of the group, Mei was the first to burst out laughing.

"Are you okay, Edward?" she asked, then looked at Alphonse and raised her eyebrows a fraction, alerting him to follow along. Alphonse gave her a knowing nod. She turned back to the impostor, and added, "The kitty doesn't talk."

Alphonse took over for Mei. "Brother, I think you're tired from your trip," he said, using the same line he'd used for Mei not long ago. "Maybe your brain is playing tricks on you?"

Golden eyes narrowed. A wicked smile spread across the impostor's face so unlike the original Edward Elric that made both Alphonse and Mei shudder.

"The least you can do is give me some credit. 'This man is even more dangerous than I had anticipated'," he said, mocking the real Edward's words.

Alphonse and Mei looked at one another. A look of decisiveness and a nod was all they needed to get ready for action.

Edward's current form made him so hyper-aware that he happened to catch the impostor sticking his hand in his right pants pocket.

"Look out!" he yelled just as Alphonse and Mei charged Don Paco. But it was too late, Don Paco had already taken something out of his pocket.

Edward watched as the man blew some type of power on Alphonse and Mei. Instinctively—involuntarily—he jumped away and missed being covered by the substance by mere fractions of a second.

Don Paco started chanting.

 _My power and my might,_

 _I bring it out this night._

 _By the power of my will,_

 _Your hostility becomes nil._

Edward spun around and hissed at him.

Alphonse was coughing; and Mei was wiping the whitish substance from her face with her bare hands.

"What did you throw on us?" Alphonse roared as he wiped the dust from his neck and clothes with his shirt. He turned to Mei. "Are you okay?" And offered her the silk handkerchief he kept in one of his pants back pockets.

"I'm fine," Mei responded as she removed more of the substance from her eyes with the handkerchief. Being smaller than Alphonse, most of the dust landed all over her hair and face.

"Don't worry, it's not poison. It's just some flour I took from the pantry the day before," Don Paco said.

"But what did you do to them?" Edward snapped, knowing that the man didn't do things without a reason.

"Protection," Don Paco said with a mischievous smile. "I can't have those two fibbing about me too."

"You bastard!" Claws out, Edward launched himself against Don Paco. The man moved out of the way; and Edward landed on the floor.

Edward quickly spun around and prepared for another attack. Don Paco held up his right hand. He bent his fingers, signaling Edward to come at him again. A low growl rumbled in Edward's chest as he got ready to strike.

"Edward!" Alphonse yelled. He caught the impostor raising his other hand to chest level as if he was going to get ready to perform an alchemic transmutation.

But Edward had already leaped forward.

Don Paco clapped his hands together. He dropped to one knee and pressed his hands against the wooden floor. Blue sparks snaked all around him. The wood began to creak while it reshaped into something different. A pair of hands wrapped around Edward just when his front paws were about to touch the floor.

Alphonse and Mei stared at Edward with both shock and awe as he thrashed against his restraints.

"Let me go, asshole!" Edward bellowed after realizing he couldn't escape from his wooden prison.

Alphonse snapped out of his stupor. "You heard him!" he roared. He clapped his hands together, readying himself to transmute. But nothing happened, Alphonse couldn't complete the transmutation.

"Alphonse-sama?" Mei asked, perplexed.

"I..." Alphonse forced his body to move. It didn't budge, not even an inch. He gave Mei a panicked look. "I can't transmute!"

Mei's eyebrows hiked up. "What?"

She turned to the impostor and stared him down coldly. A moment later, Mei put her left foot in front of the other, changing her stance from resting to combat. She motioned to reach a kunai from one of her long sleeves but she remembered she wasn't carrying any concealed weapons. She cursed something unintelligible under her breath; weaponizing her alkahestry wasn't an option anymore.

Mei looked at Alphonse then at Edward. Both Elric brothers had been effectively neutralized. She then turned her attention back to Don Paco and narrowed her glare on him. She switched her stance again, with both feet evenly spaced at shoulder length. Her right leg was the dominant leg so her right foot was positioned slightly behind her left one.

Mei sprang forward. She switched things around so she could jump upward while using her weaker leg to gain just enough momentum to spin herself around in midair. She began twisting her hips so her strong leg landed on Don Paco's head, but she missed her mark. Mei crashed on the floor near the impostor's feet.

"Mei!" both Edward and Alphonse cried out in unison.

Don Paco whistled loud and low. "You're quite the acrobat, my dear." He put a hand on each hip and leaned over to watch Mei's mortified expression. "Have you ever considered joining the circus?" he added in a mocking tone.

Alphonse tried moving but it was as if he'd been paralyzed. Edward also tried to do something about his situation, to no avail.

Cats are quite supple in nature, Edward gave it another try to wriggle free, but the wooden tendrils held him tightly in place. Hopelessness was starting to creep in so he turned again to his brother to see if he had better luck.

"Alphonse snap out of it!" he yelled at him.

Alphonse turned his head—apparently the only part of his body that wasn't paralyzed—and looked at his brother.

"I can't!" he yelled back at him.

Edward cursed under his breath. He turned his attention to Don Paco who hadn't made another move besides mocking Mei. Alphonse's girlfriend also seemed to be paralyzed. Both Alphonse and Mei used different methods to control Don Paco, what they had in common was their intentions to stop that man from causing more harm.

"'My power and my might, I bring it out this night. By the power of my will, your hostility becomes nil'." Edward mumbled Don Paco's words. His feline eyes rounded—Don Paco had cast a spell!

Edward turned to the man who stole his body. So far Don Paco has proven to be able to make the impossible possible, like a villain taken from a children's cautionary tale. And if the same rules apply then—

"The spell can be canceled!" Edward cried out.

He turned to Alphonse. "Al! What were you going to transmute?"

"I was going to trap him using the boards of the kitchen of the floor," Alphonse answered.

Edward spoke before Alphonse had a chance to say something else. "Try touching the chair next to you," he said.

Alphonse nodded. The nearest object was one of the table chairs. He closed his eyes a moment. He opened them after letting out a deep breath. His body went from rigid to pliable. He pressed his hands on the chair, which twisted into a gnarly mess after the alchemic reaction finished running its course.

"Mei!" Alphonse called out to his girlfriend. "Try not to think about attacking the sorcerer!"

Mei acknowledged his words. Once she focused on something else, she was able to roll to a standing position. She jumped away from Don Paco and kept her guard up just in case the man would try some other trick.

Alphonse joined her. "Are you alright?"

Mei nodded. "I think so."

"What the fuck did you do to them?" Edward demanded.

"Did the restrains cut the circulation to your tiny brain?" Don Paco taunted. He let out a loud cackle when Edward hissed at him. "They won't be able to do anything against me, cano," he said as he turned to look at Alphonse and Mei who were shooting daggers at him. Turning back to Edward, he added, "Your brother and his cutie girlfriend are cursed."

Don Paco walked to the gnarly chair. He clapped his hands again and restored it to its original form, showing everyone in the room that his previous transmutation hadn't been a fluke. He took a seat on that same chair, then said, "Is my turn to ask questions." His eyes slid to Alphonse and Mei. "How on earth are you able to hear that fleabag?" he asked.

"Watch your tongue!" Alphonse roared.

"Go to hell!" Mei added.

"Oh, dear." Don Paco shook his head. He stood up and went to Edward, and crouched in front of him. "Cano, you're going to tell me how they're doing it, right?"

"Fuck you!" Edward spat at him.

Don Paco pressed his lips into a thin line.

If Edward was sincere with himself, he would admit that he was pleased watching the fear he has imparted to his enemies. Watching every gesture and every expression his original body could do has, in a way, been a treat for him.

"Have it your way," Don Paco simply said. He clapped his hands together then dropped to one knee and touched the floor. The wood tendrils encircling Edward tightened around him. He couldn't help but cry out in pain.

"Stop it!" Alphonse cried.

He presented his fists, ready for battle. Don Paco grinned.

Alphonse launched himself at the sorcerer, donning a fearsome snarl that easily rivaled Edward's. But his valiant effort was foiled the moment he tripped and fell flat on the floor.

Don Paco snorted and suppressed a laugh; Mei ran to Alphonse's side.

"Just tell me how you're understanding this cat, and I'll set him free," Don Paco said once his amusement faded away.

"By using alkahestry and tuning into the Dragon's Pulse," Mei blurted out. She then turned to Alphonse. "Are you okay?" Alphonse nodded.

Don Paco clapped and touched the wooden cage, restoring the floor to its original form. Edward ran to his brother.

"Are you okay?" Alphonse asked as he gathered him in his arms. "Yeah..." Edward replied.

Alphonse stood up and moved closer to Mei. They were all facing the impostor.

Don Paco simply stared at them. The conceited look on his face—so vain, so unlike Edward—made everyone seethe with anger.

"Dammit..." Edward grumbled under his breath. Alphonse looked down. "What is it?" Edward's ears turned back. "I thought the spell was broken."

Don Paco cackled. "A curse can't be broken so easily!" Sniggering a little to himself, he went to the table and took a seat on the nearest chair.

Xiao Mei, who'd stayed on the table, hissed at him. Don Paco tried to pet the panda, but she wasn't cooperating. Xiao Mei nipped at the impostor's fingers before jumping from the table to run to Mei's arms.

Don Paco followed the panda with his eyes. He raised them to the brothers, and the Xinguese princess, who was busy calming the exotic animal. His head shook, side to side, and again he laughed. But his mirth, just like before, quickly died down. "Now then..." A razor-sharp smile cut across his face. "Alkahestry, the Dragon's Pulse...never heard of it. Sounds fascinating." His timbre came out rich and deep, nothing quite like Edward's.

And Edward couldn't care any less. "Are you using the Philosopher's Stone to do this?" he accused.

"How come you know so much about our lives?" Alphonse put his two cents in.

Don Paco rolled his eyes at them. "Kids nowadays…" he said, shaking his head. Then he frowned. "Didn't I tell you it was my turn to ask questions?" he snapped at them.

"Fuck you and your questions!" Edward snapped back at him.

Edward's voice was so vehement it took the sorcerer by surprise. A couple of beats later Don Paco started with his obnoxious cackling.

"Okay, fine, I give in!" He raised his hands in the air, feigning surrender. Edward bared his fangs at him.

"Cell memory," Don Paco said, not giving Edward a chance to slip in an insult. "Once my mind and my consciousness are transferred into a new host, I can tap into the memories stored within the cells." He paused. "Take my accent, for example. I was born and raised in Creta but I'm speaking flawless Amestrian." His eyes rested on Edward. Holding his gaze, Don Paco flashed him a mocking smile. "I sound quite ridiculous when I say things like 'te cogí de pendejo' or 'no tienes ni idea de lo que pienso hacer con tu novia'." Edward growled at him but this only made Don Paco laugh. "There are some quirks, of course," he said, now directing his attention to Alphonse and Mei. "I might interpret things wrong but so far it has gotten me by just fine."

Edward's growl intensified into a guttural snarling. That asshole was going to regret calling him a fool! But most important—

"Don't you dare put your slimy hands on Winry!"

Alphonse looked at his brother. "What do you mean?"

"He said he has plans for her."

Alphonse shot a hard glare at the impostor. "As if we're going to let you!"

Don Paco's smile grew wider. "Regarding the Philosopher's Stone, actually, alchemy for that matter," he said, completely disregarding the brother's threats and going back to the original subject. "I kept my word. You can use alchemy again." He even glided a hand—beginning at the top then going downwards—showcasing Edward's body as if it was some type of trophy.

"Stop playing fucking games with me!" Edward roared. He almost jumped out of Alphonse's arms but his brother held him tight against his chest. "Change him back—now!" Alphonse demanded once he had Edward under control.

Don Paco wagged a finger at Alphonse. "No can do, baby brother. My body isn't here, it's back in Creta." He eyed Alphonse from top to bottom. "Are you offering to switch? Wouldn't mind hopping into a better body, you know."

The sorcerer rolled his right shoulder as he directed his gaze to Edward. "This one is kind of busted, and is missing a leg." He goaded just to get a rise out of him. "Well, it's the truth!" he added once Edward bared his fangs at him. "I thought I would be able to handle it, but man!" Another roll of the shoulder. "So many aches and pains!—heh—my previous body didn't ache this much."

Alphonse threw his free hand to the side. "Not happening," he narrowed his eyes, and said, "And stop calling me 'baby brother'."

Don Paco dramatically put a hand to his chest. "Why must you hurt me so?" he cried. "It's not like I'm going to leave you stranded in a hunk of steel like he did," he said, pointing to Edward. Before either brother could retaliate, the impostor added, "Cell memory—did you both forget already?"

 _That fucking piece of shit!_ Edward couldn't help the low growl that rumbled from his chest. He wanted to harm the man, even if it meant damaging his own body in the process. He wiggled again trying to get free from his brother's hold but Alphonse's grip was strong.

"Al—!" he began, but his words were cut short when Winry entered the kitchen area.

"So here's where you went—" Winry said as set eyes on the impostor. She stopped in mid-sentence to take in the scene before her.

Alphonse and Mei stood at one side of the kitchen while her boyfriend stood at the other. Alphonse was crushing the stray against his chest, and Mei was petting Xiao Mei as if the little panda had been hurt in some way. Her boyfriend sat by the breakfast nook. Although everything looked proper, the tension in the room was palpable.

"What's going on?" Winry finally said, folding her arms over her chest; her lips pressed tightly together in a thin line. Blue eyes roamed over the bunch. "Are you still arguing about the cat?" she asked, her brow furrowing as irritation crossed her face.

The impostor spoke before Alphonse had a chance to even form words. "I'm sorry, babe," he said as he stood up. "Guilty as charged!" He held up his hands, palms forward, at chest level, and waved them, gesturing surrender.

Edward noticed Winry furrowing her brow. He assumed Don Paco noticed this too because he quickly walked to her side.

"Just look at it," he said as he hooked his arm over Winry's shoulders to haul her body next to his. Once Winry was flushed against him, the impostor added, "I told Al that the poor thing will be better off if we take it to an animal shelter, but he just won't listen to reason."

Winry stared at the younger Elric then at the cat. She spent a few long seconds contemplating the animal before gently pushing her boyfriend away.

"Ed," Winry started but paused.

Edward knew Winry wasn't the type to hesitate yet she was doing exactly that.

"Why are you being so pushy?" she finally said.

"Ed's staying," Alphonse intruded. He tried to hide a smile of satisfaction by focusing on rubbing his brother's jaw. Edward couldn't help but meow in delight.

Winry blinked in confusion. "Wait, what?"

Alphonse released Edward from his delightful torture and turned his full attention on Winry. "The cat. I named him Ed," he replied, a hint of mischief evident in his voice.

Edward blinked, and so did Mei.

Winry shook her head in disbelief. "Wow, Al!" She sneered, narrowing her eyes at him. "You sure are hell-bent on pissing everyone off."

Alphonse glared at the sorcerer before returned his attention back to Winry. "I think the name suits him," he said as he ran a hand over his brother's back.

"Whatever," Winry scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Mei's brow furrowed. "Winry?" she called out to the automail mechanic. Winry turned her gaze to her. "Edward mentioned that his automail leg was bothering him," she said.

Winry spun around to set her eyes on her boyfriend. "Is that right?" Irritation and concern were evident in her tone of voice.

Don Paco chuckled nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck—a mannerism that was innately Edward's.

Alphonse glanced at Mei. She shook her head a bit, telling him with her gesture to keep quiet.

Winry narrowed her gaze on the impostor, and again he reacted like the real Edward would. "Well..yes?" he admitted, sheepishly.

"Edward Elric!" Winry roared making the impostor flinch. "It's no big deal," he said, scraping for a way out of this mess. "I can pop some aspirin and I'll be as good as new."

Red-hot anger rushed through Winry. "Are you out of your damn mind?" she shrieked. "You're allergic to aspirin!"

Edward felt the muscles in his brother's arms tense. He knew that Alphonse was starting to worry—he was worrying too. Mei used Winry to get at Don Paco; a risky move to make on such dangerous man.

As if reading his mind, Alphonse said, "Winry, just ignore him. You know that when he's in pain, he doesn't think straight." He paused and took a deep breath. "I know it's late, Winry, but I do think he needs a tune-up right away."

Alphonse looked at Mei and exchanged a smile with her. Mei nodded back to him.

"I'll help you!" she offered. "I can help manage his pain while you check his automail."

Winry stared at both Alphonse and Mei for a few seconds then turned her attention back to the impostor. "Why didn't you tell me that you were having problems with your leg?—never mind." She started for the door leading to the automail shop. "Let's go," she said, glancing over her shoulder.

Alphonse turned to Don Paco. "You heard her."

"Try something funny and I'll personally kill you," Edward warned in a low growl.

Winry raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

Don Paco exchanged glances with the brothers and smirked before following Winry. Mei also exchanged glances with the brothers while she headed in the same direction. Xiao Mei whimpered when she walked past Alphonse.

The door shut closed; Alphonse let out the breath he'd been holding in ever since Winry entered into the kitchen. He carried Edward to the table and placed him on it. Then he sank into the nearest chair.

"Why do 'things' keep happening to us?" Alphonse groaned as he buried his face in his hands.

Edward got closer and rubbed his head against his brother's forearms. Alphonse lowered his arms to look at him.

"You guys did good," Edward said. His eyes flitted to the closed door. "That bastard doesn't know the world of hurt he's been thrown into."

Alphonse ran a hand over his brother's back. Edward's fur was so soft and warm that he couldn't help but smile. "I'm sorry that this is happening to you," he said and tried to hold his smile in place. Edward shook his head. "It hasn't been that bad."

He took a moment to look back at the mess that began back in the Far West. Turning to his brother, he added, "At least I got a pain-free tune-up!"

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* * *

I guess this story is too silly? Too much crack? Maybe I should stick to angst and horror... (-_-)

Anyway...

 **Chapter 7 should be posted sometime next weekend.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3. **Posting early because I won't be around this weekend.**

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 7**

Convincing Winry to give the fake Edward a tune-up had been just as satisfying as it has been useful. Each of Don Paco's screams sounded like music to Edward's and Alphonse's ears. Sometime during the tune-up, the brother's heard Granny grumbling about how the trip to the West made a wuss out of her adopted grandson. The heavy drugs she later administered knocked the poor guy out cold. This was a blessing in disguise because it gave Edward, Alphonse, and Mei an opportunity to strategize.

Morning came in fast.

Like always, everyone—with the exception of the impostor, who was still recuperating from the gruesome automail tune-up—gathered around the table to have breakfast. The real Edward had the privilege of sitting with them despite Winry and Granny being against having a cat at the table.

Once everyone had been fed, Granny turned to Alphonse. "Boy, what's gotten into you?" She snapped.

Alphonse was quick to cast his gaze down. Edward sauntered across the table and sat next to his brother's empty plate. He mewled. Alphonse raised his eyes at him and smiled. Edward smiled too because everything was playing out as they planned.

The night before, after depositing the impostor on the bed in the spare room, Edward, Alphonse, and Mei reunited in the backyard to discuss the best course of action to neutralize Don Paco. Thanks to the spell the man cast on both Alphonse and Mei, alchemy and physical combat had been rendered useless. But this setback wasn't going to stop any of them. A promising idea emerged during their impromptu meeting. Alphonse suggested that language could be the key to bring Don Paco down. He hypothesized that the curse placed on him and Mei worked because both alchemy and physical attacks were tangible things. Language was intangible and it was a powerful tool when used correctly. They all agreed that unmasking Don Paco before Granny and Winry was the best choice. It was a risky move, but one they were willing to take.

"There's something you need to know about Ed," Alphonse said.

Winry raised a questioning brow. "What about Ed?"

Alphonse's expression turned dark. "There's no easy way to say this..."

It had been Edward's idea for Alphonse to rile up Winry before spilling the beans about Don Paco. Alphonse had always been great at manipulating, even more so after returning to his original body. His silver tongue and charming ways were downright scary, and they would certainly elicit a swift reaction out Winry—at least this was what they all were hoping for. It was wrong resorting to dirty tricks to get the job done, but Don Paco left them with few options. The curse he placed on both Alphonse and Mei severely crippled any effort to neutralize him. If cell memory was real, and if it indeed affected the body, then Don Paco was bound to fall prey to Winry's wrath just like Edward always did when he angered her. Then...payback.

Right on cue, Winry's shoulders squared and her jaw tensed. Edward perked his ears as he waited for Alphonse to execute with the most important part of their plan.

"Edward isn't—" Alphonse began but had to stop, his throat had suddenly constricted.

Edward worried, and by the looks of it, so did Mei.

Alphonse cleared his throat and tried again. "Sorry, Win," he said with a nervous chuckle. "What I was trying to say is that Ed—" His throat cinched even tighter to the point of choking.

"Alphonse-sama?" Mei was the first to panic.

Alphonse mimicked his girlfriend's expression. "I can't say it." His words came out as a pained croak.

Mei's eyes widened a fraction. "Let me try," she said in a calm voice and offered a smile to Winry and Pinako, whose eyebrows pinched together in worry.

"Granny, Winry, what Alphonse-sama was trying to say is that Edward is—" All of a sudden, she started giggling. "Goodness!" Mei exclaimed. "I don't know what's gotten into me." She cleared her throat and tried again. "What I was trying to say is that Edward—" The giggling returned, more explosive than before.

A low growl rumbled in Edward's chest; his tail puffed.

Pinako frowned. "I don't know what you two are thinking, but this"—she tapped the table with her open hand—"is not entertaining."

Winry shook her head in agreement.

Mei looked at Alphonse for some reassurance. Alphonse, in turn, looked at Edward. A moment later, he raised his eyes to Pinako, and while petting his brother's head, he said, "I'm sorry Granny. We're not trying to be disrespectful."

Edward slid away from his brother then jumped off the table. He meowed until Alphonse looked down.

Winry's eyebrows shot up. She glanced at her grandmother then at Mei. Her grandmother looked disinterested, but not Mei. The Xinguese princess was paying close attention to her boyfriend.

"Of course..." Alphonse mumbled. He returned his attention to everyone. "This cat is no ordinary cat," he said. "This cat is—" His throat cinched again. This time, he shot Mei a frightened look, and she shot it back at him.

"Cat got your tongue, baby brother?"

Everyone turned in the direction the voice was coming from. The fake Edward stepped into view. He sauntered his way across the dining room, smirking as he walked past Edward, Alphonse, and Mei.

"Ed!" Winry jumped out of her chair to go to the impostor's side. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm doing much better, thanks," the impostor answered with a grin. The real Edward couldn't help but growl.

"You had me worried for a moment there," Winry said, then chuckled nervously. "You've never screamed during a routine maintenance." She tucked a lock of hair behind her right ear. "I thought I did something wrong."

The impostor cupped a side of Winry's face. "It's okay, my love. I forgive you."

Winry's eyebrows arched a fraction. She then offered him a tight smile. "Sure thing, Ed." She gently pulled his hand away from her face.

The impostor broke into a forced cackle. He quickly turned his attention to everyone else sitting at the table. Focusing on Alphonse, he said, "What did I miss?"

"Not much," Pinako intruded, her eyes narrowing at the fake Edward. "There's food left in the skillet, and the bread is sitting next to the toaster."

He turned to Winry, and looked at her expectantly; Granny's discontent showed in her deepening scowl.

The telephone rang before anyone had a chance to say something about Edward's impertinence.

Winry was closest to the phone, so she took the call. Edward jumped back on the table and let Alphonse gather him in his arms. Mei stared at Don Paco, so did Pinako. Don Paco flashed a smile at them.

Winry hung up the phone. "That was Mr. Garfiel," she said after she turned around. Locking eyes with her grandmother, she added, "He's in desperate need of assistance."

Don Paco's eyes narrowed. He clenched his jaw ever so slightly. Edward made sure to take a mental note of that.

Edward turned his attention back to Winry and saw indecision in her face—not a good sign. Mr. Garfiel asking for Winry was a godsend, the perfect opportunity to ruin whatever Don Paco had planned for her. Edward wiggled around in Alphonse's arms until he was facing him. He placed a paw on each of his brother's shoulders. Alphonse chuckled nervously, his confusion was clearly showing in his face.

Don Paco wasn't as clever as claimed to be. Boasting about cell memory was something he really was going to regret. Edward took a deep breath, which he let out in a slow exhale. He closed his eyes and prepared himself to channel Domingo's cell memories.

The feline's instinct took over in an instant. Edward got closer to Alphonse and rubbed his head against his brother's neck and jaw in a way he hadn't done before. The contact felt natural, so natural that he started purring out of his own volition. Alphonse tensed at first, but then he relaxed. His arms went around Edward and he hugged him tenderly. Mei smiled, so did Winry and Granny. Don Paco simply stared.

Now Edward understood why cats were crazy for Alphonse. He could feel the beauty of his brother's soul radiating from such a simple gesture as a hug. Edward wanted to hold on to his brother a bit longer but he had things to do. He focused fully on his human side and pushed everything else to the back of his mind. Edward got closer to his brother so that he could whisper into his ear. "Al, you must convince Winry to travel to Rush Valley," he said. He'd kept his voice low. Not even Mei, who was sitting next to Alphonse heard what he said to his brother.

"Okay, that's enough, Ed," Alphonse said as he put Edward back on the table. He looked at Winry. "I think you should go, Win. It sounded like Mr. Garfiel really needs the help."

Don Paco glared at Alphonse; Edward's tail quivered with delight.

"Al, I haven't decided to go yet," Winry replied, her tone uneasy.

Don Paco approached Winry and grabbed one of her hands. "Win, I think you should go."

Edward bristled. That bastard was purposefully provoking his brother. He certainly provoked him.

Alphonse gathered him in his arms again. "Don't give him the pleasure of seeing you angry," Alphonse whispered while he cuddled him. Edward looked up, his brother's eyes showing intense determination. It was all he needed to calm down.

"I'm going with you," Don Paco announced.

They all turned their heads to him.

"Um, I don't know—" Winry blurted without thinking. Her eyes widened and a chuckle bubbled out of her throat when she realized what she'd done.

The impostor looked at Winry's eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry if I'm being too forward, my love." He paused, then added, "I missed you."

Winry looked everywhere but his face. When she finally did, she said, "You'll get bored, Ed. I'm going to be busy—you know how it is. I might not even have time to spend with you." She stepped back.

"Nonsense!" Don Paco cried. He flashed Winry a smile as he stepped into her personal space. "I won't get bored, Win, I promise. After my trip to the West, well..." He glanced at Edward. "I'm a changed man," he said after returning his attention to Winry.

Edward's tail puffed again, the rest of his fur was also fluffing. Alphonse ran his hand over Edward's back before wrapping his arm around him and pulling him closer to himself.

Winry held the impostor's gaze for a moment. "Okay, Ed, you can tag along."

A mischievous grin slid across the impostor's face. "You won't regret it!"

"Win?" Alphonse interrupted. "You won't mind if we tag along? We were planning on heading to Dublith in a few days so Mei can meet Teacher, and since Rush Valley is on the way..."

"I think it's an excellent idea," Pinako intruded.

Mei and Alphonse exchanged puzzled looks before turning their attention to Granny.

Winry gave her grandmother a questioning look. When she was about to say something, Pinako stated, "It's safer to travel in numbers." Winry looked at Alphonse and Mei, then returned her attention back to her grandmother. "I guess so?"

"That settles it," Pinako said, a smart smile crowned her thin lips. She dragged her chair back and stood up. Turning to Winry, she called, "Let's go, girl. We need to get your stuff ready for the trip." Pinako then started for the kitchen. Winry offered a bashful smile to everyone before going after her grandmother.

Alphonse waited until there was silence before letting his brother back on the table.

"The hell we're going to leave you alone with Winry!" Edward hissed at Don Paco.

"Yes, it looks that way," Don Paco mused. He then walked to the table and planted his hands on it. He offered Edward that wicked grin he'd used before. "You better be on your best behavior, Flea Bag." He shot a glance at Alphonse and Mei. A moment later, he returned his attention back to Edward. "You don't want me to hurt your dear girly, now do you?"

Edward bared his fangs. "I'll kill you first!"

Don Paco burst into a fit of laughter. "¡Ay, que muchacho éste!" he exclaimed as he wiped mirthful tears from the corner of his eyes. "You're full of surprises, cano." He shook his head and laughed some more. "So how are you going accomplish this? By scratching my face—I mean your face—to death?" He laughed again. "You know, if you kill me, you'll lose the opportunity to return to your body, you dumbass." Don Paco didn't wait for Edward's comeback. Pushing away from the table, he said, "I'm going to head downstairs to help _my girl_ out. I plan to leave for Rush Valley as soon as possible, so you better start packing."

Don Paco turned on a heel and began walking away. He stopped by the entryway to the dining room. He spun around again and directed a glare at Edward. "I know you will find a way to tag along, but I must admit, I'm looking forward to not seeing your hairy mug for a little while." He then directed his attention to Alphonse and Mei. "Now if you excuse me, there's a sexy young lady waiting for my help."

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"Dammit to hell!" Edward roared the moment they entered his and Alphonse's old room at the Rockbell home. He jumped on his bed. "I knew, _I knew_ I shouldn't have listened to that piece of shit—I'm such a fucking idiot!"

Alphonse sat on his bed across from Edward's. "You know what, Brother? if someone would've told me that there was a way to restore my lost alchemy, I would've taken it. No questions asked," he said, and offered his brother a sympathetic smile when their gazes met.

"Really?" Edward asked, his voice thick with emotion.

Alphonse nodded and smiled even wider. But his smile started fading so he looked away.

 _This was the guilt Don Paco spoke of..._ Edward felt his heart constrict. "I should've listened to the townspeople," he said, his voice all but a whisper. "I might be stuck forever in this form..." He raised his head, and looked at Alphonse, then at Mei. "Now you two got dragged into this." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "And I still don't know why that man wants Winry so badly." He fell silent. A moment later, a deep yowl broke from his throat.

Mei, who was sitting next to Alphonse, stood up. She walked the small stretch between beds and sat beside Edward. "We'll find a way to get out of this mess, and we will keep Winry safe from harm," she reassured.

Xiao Mei, who was also sitting on Alphonse's bed, jumped out and darted across the floor to Edward's side of the room. She jumped on his bed, and slowly approached Edward. She sniffed him, then sat beside him. Edward glared at the little panda; even she considered him a pitiable thing. He splayed on the bed and sighed.

Alphonse pressed his lips into a thin line. "Okay," he said and fixed his eyes upon his girlfriend. "Let's revise what we know about the Cretan sorcerer."

Mei offered him a smart smile; and he smiled back.

"Don Paco can jump from one body to another using ancient magick from his homeland," Alphonse continued. "And there's the possibility that he used a Philosopher's Stone to accomplish this."

Mei leaned over to pick Xiao Mei. The panda growled so Mei ran a hand over her head and back until she calmed down.

"He certainly didn't need the red stone to put us in our place," Mei joked and grinned sheepishly when Alphonse rolled his eyes at her.

"That fucking bastard used _my body_ to transmute," Edward contributed before letting his head plop down on the mattress.

Talking about Don Paco was getting nowhere fast. Eventually, both Alphonse and Mei fell silent, just like Edward had done. Then, after a few minutes of silence, Alphonse's expression suddenly brightened, and his eyes widened.

"Of course!" he exclaimed. Quickly turning to Edward, he said, "Brother, Don Paco affixed your mind and soul to the body of his pet cat, and somehow he did the same for himself when he took over your body."

Edward raised his eyes to Alphonse. "So what?"

Alphonse swatted away his snappish comment with a smile.

"Do you remember how I couldn't transmute without a circle even though we both had seen Truth?" he said.

"I remember..." Edward's face darkened. How could he forget? He alone was the one responsible for his brother's suffering.

"And I couldn't do this because my memories of the time inside Gate stayed in the Gate," Alphonse continued.

"What are you getting at?" Edward snapped again.

Mei gasped. "You don't mean?"

Al gave her a smart nod. "Memories are components of the mind. Once I acquired mine, I was able to transmute without a circle," he explained. Alphonse turned to his brother. "Ed, what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to have all original components: mind, body, and soul, in order to use alchemy."

Edward considered his brother's idea for a moment. Alphonse had a valid point—only if the ability to use alchemy inhabited solely in the body. "For all we know, alchemy might come from a person's soul," he countered.

"That's the whole point," Alphonse replied. "That's probably the reason why Don Paco told you he could fix your alchemy."

Edward's eyes narrowed to slits and glowered at his brother. "Don Paco said that because he's a lying sack of shit!"

"I don't think he lied about this, Brother," Alphonse mused.

"Really, Al?" Edward sneered, then snorted. "How can you even think—" He stopped. "Are we grasping at straws now?" he chuckled darkly.

Alphonse frowned.

Edward gathered himself up and sat on his hind legs. "So you actually believe that if I clap my itsy bitsy little paws"—he pressed the rosy pads in his forefeet—"and I place them on a solid surface"—he pressed them against the mattress—"I will be able to transmute?"

Blue sparks came out from underneath Edward just as he finished spewing out sarcastic comments. The three of them watched the azure spectacle in awe as if it'd been the first time they've seen an alchemic reaction.

"Go on! Finish it!" Alphonse cheered.

Edward agreed. He imagined constructing a wall using the metal springs, cloth and synthetic padding from his bed mattress. Mei and Xiao Mei had to stand up when the mattress began restructuring according to Edward's design.

Edward bared his fangs, it was the closest thing to a smug grin that he could make. He looked at his brother, pride swelling his chest. "You know what that means, don't you?"

Alphonse peeled his eyes away from Edward's alchemical creation. Turning his full attention at Edward, he said, "I do, Brother. It means that you'll be footing the bill the night I take Mei to dinner at Jacqueline's."

Edward glared at his brother. "I didn't promise you anything, idiot," he snapped, making Alphonse snicker. He exchanged glances with both Alphonse and Mei before adding, "I did promise something. I promised that old bastard that I was going to make him pay for what he did to me."

"Don't forget us!" Alphonse and Mei said almost at the same time.

Fierce determination ignited in Edward's feline eyes. "Of course."

Mei giggled. "That horrible man is going to get his tush handed to him on a platter, by a cat, no less."

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 **Chapter 8 should be posted sometime next weekend.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

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 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

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 **Chapter 8**

Winry picked up from the floor the wicker basket she brought with her on the train and placed it on her lap. She quickly undid the knot on the red and white checkered fabric. The scent of baked apples, sugar, and cinnamon spread about, lifting the mood of everyone sitting around her.

Edward rose up to a standing position. He gazed up from behind the thin wiring of his pet carrier. Thanks to Winry's growing influence in Resembool, he was able to ride in the passenger car. No more rides in the cargo car for him! He moved his gaze to his brother. Alphonse was already salivating at the sight of apple pie. He was salivating too. Unfortunately for him, he had to wait for his brother to tear his eyes from the baked good so he could tell him how much he would enjoy having a bite of that pie.

"Here's your slice, Mei," Winry said as she handed a generous slice to the Xinguese princess.

Alphonse was in charge of handing the napkins. He gave one to his girlfriend—along with a smile. He then handed a napkin to the impostor.

"Thanks, Al," Don Paco said, his tone of voice as fake as his grin.

When Winry handed out apple pie it meant they'd reached the halfway point of their trip. So far, there hadn't been much friction within the group. Alphonse and Mei had promised Granny that they were going to be on their best behavior even more so when the old woman hinted at them that she knew something strange was going on with the older Elric. But in reality, there really was no need for any of them to waste so much energy fighting. Things have turned in their favor. By the end of the day, Don Paco wasn't going to be laughing at them anymore.

"Plan B" was going to start the moment they disembark the train at the Automail Heaven. Edward's sole job was to incapacitate the sorcerer using alchemy, but in order for this to happen, they needed to catch the man off-guard. Alphonse's and Mei's job was to bring Paninya and Mr. Garfiel on board. They needed to convince the ex-thief and the master automail engineer that Winry was the target of a highly dangerous man without so much as giving up every detail of how this came to be. If everything went according to plan, which it should since the plan was bullet-proof, Don Paco would not be able to cause any more harm. Alphonse didn't foresee any problems extraditing the man to Creta. He offered himself to personally escort the man back home. Mustang would facilitate the extradition in exchange for a favor; Edward offered to take care of it.

"Here you go, Ed," Winry said as she handed the impostor his share of the apple pie.

The man happily accepted the piece of the pie. He wolf down half of the slice in one bite. "This is the best!" he cried out, his praise partly muffled by the food in his mouth.

Alphonse and Mei exchanged glances. Don Paco wasn't faking it. He really was thrilled about Winry's apple pie.

Edward didn't like this at all. It should be him enjoying one of Winry's delicacies, not that bastard who had stolen his body. He unconsciously bumped onto the side of the carrier. His eyes narrowed. When had the enclosure become so small? His thoughts returned to the present the moment he heard that bastard laughing. _That bastard!_ He bumped his head against the left wall—he just couldn't stand the sound of his own voice anymore!

Alphonse leaned forward and looked through the metal mesh. "Are you okay, little buddy?"

Edward was glaring at him.

"You must be hungry," Alphonse said as he undid the two pins keeping the door secured.

"What are you doing?" the impostor demanded.

Alphonse offered him a big, fake smile. "Why, Brother, I'm going to let Ed out of the cage for a few minutes," he said and offered the man his most pleasant smile. "The poor thing is hungry, can't you see it?"

The fake Edward stared up at Alphonse, then he stuffed the rest of his slice of pie in his mouth. A moment later, he said, "I don't care." Crumbs landed all over including on Winry's lap, which she brushed off with a napkin that Alphonse offered.

"I think it's a great idea, Al," Winry said just as she flashed a petrifying glare at the impostor.

Alphonse chuckled. "Brother, you should know better than to cross Winry."

The impostor said nothing for a moment. Finally, he crossed his arms over his chest, then said, "Spoken like true children. Don't go blaming me if we get kicked out of this train because you both took pity on that mangy cat."

"Edward Elric!" Winry roared; the impostor stared her down.

"Just ignore him, Winry," Alphonse intervened. "Lately he's been—" He couldn't finish his words thanks to the curse-induced coughing fit.

"It's okay, Al. I get it," Winry said in a snappish tone.

Alphonse was still coughing; all he could do was acknowledge her comment with a quick nod.

Winry's eyebrows pinched together in worry. "Al, I hope you're not coming down with the flu. You've just recovered your full strength not long ago. I don't know how your body will react to—"

A loud yowl ripped through the pet carrier scaring Winry and pretty much everyone in the train car. Alphonse picked up the carrier and put it on his lap. Edward pushed the metal door open with his head. He slid out of the enclosure and jumped on top of the back plank of the bench. He then approached Alphonse and whispered into his ear, "Don't let Winry talk about our past in front of Don Paco."

Alphonse's eyes rounded. He shot a glance at Don Paco to see if he'd been listening in; Edward did the same. Don Paco was looking out the window and seemed too distracted to have picked up details of the conversation.

Alphonse put the carrier down on the floor then turned to pick up Edward. "Is kitty hungry?" He cooed as he brought his brother to his lap. "I bet your little tummy is ready for something yummy!"

Edward glared. They all had a role to play for the sake of appearances but he was certain that Alphonse was having way too much fun with his. Now it was his turn. Pushing away the urge to shudder, Edward tuned to Domingo's cell memories. Almost instantly, the cutest mewl reverberated deep in his chest. He even rubbed his head against his brother's chest in a playful manner.

Mei started giggling. Winry joined her. The display between Alphonse and Ed the Cat was way too adorable to ignore.

Alphonse picked up his share of the pie, which he left on the bench to help Winry with the napkins, and said, "Dig in bud."

Edward inhaled the sweet aroma before taking a bite. He wasn't sure of what sweets could do to a cat's digestive system. Right now, he didn't care. His taste buds were dancing, and so was his soul. He was having some of Winry's apple pie, one of the most delicious confections ever created. And he wasn't just referring to the ingredients. Winry put a lot of love in the process of confectioning pies, the same kind of love she put in every automail piece she'd ever worked on.

Winry spoke as he ran his coarse tongue over his lips.

"Al, can I do it?" she asked Alphonse.

At first, it didn't register with Edward that Winry wanted to hand feed him. His tail quivered with his excitement when he finally did.

Alphonse chuckled. "Sure, Win. It's Ed's dream come true," he said as he handed the slice of pie to Winry. He chuckled some more.

Winry raised her eyebrows. "Okay, Al..." she muttered and shook her head. She placed the slice of pie next to her. Alphonse then handed her the golden-haired cat.

Winry peered into his eyes of the cat, a tender smile spread on her face.

Edward could tell, by the way, Winry searched his eyes, that she was looking for something. Winry was aware that something was amiss, he knew her well enough to know this. He would've been happy for her sharp instincts if it wasn't because of the threat sitting right next to her. He couldn't have Winry digging out the truth—no one knew what Don Paco would do if she were to discover his true identity.

He channeled Domingo's memories, thinking that this would distract her. He rubbed his body against Winry's chest. Everyone laughed, especially Alphonse, who he knew how much he loved Winry's curves. _Let them laugh,_ he thought. He was enjoying himself way too much to stop.

Edward closed his eyes and rubbed his head against Winry's neck and chin. He noticed she was wearing the perfume he'd given her for her last birthday. A soft purr rumbled about him. Winry's gentle caresses came to mind. The memory of her minty breath ghosting against his lips drew a long yowl out of him.

He stiffened when Winry wrapped him in her arms but he let himself melt in the warm embrace.

"Ed loves you," Alphonse said the words he wanted to say to Winry but couldn't.

He heard her gasp, then her arms parted. Edward panicked; Winry was as sharp as her grandmother.

He looked at his brother. Alphonse's paling face told him he was thinking the same thing as him. He looked at Don Paco. Thankfully, the bastard was distracted with the moving scenery.

Winry picked up the slice of pie. "Here, Ed, have some more pie," she said.

Edward returned his gaze back to Winry and noticed that she looked calm. Maybe he and his brother read Winry's reaction wrong? He decided to push his thoughts aside for a moment.

He concentrated on the piece of the pie, running his tongue over his lips before taking another bite. Then he took another. Even if the pie sent him to the bathroom like the milk did days before, he kept on eating.

Edward heard the impostor scoff; but he ignored it. This moment was his and his alone, and that asshole wasn't going to ruin it no matter how many times he tried.

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Paninya slid between the crowd of laborers, mechanics, tourists, and a hooligan, as she made her way to the train platform. The 3:30 Express from Central had just pulled into the Rush Valley Train Station.

A slide left, a slide right; a partial stop and a spin: Paninya made a clear pathway to the front of the train. She got on her tip-toes and looked left. By chance, she caught sight of Winry's pale mane as she exited the passenger car.

"There's my girl!" Paninya exclaimed as she approached her best friend. She pushed the older Elric aside and gave Winry a most welcomed hug.

"I couldn't believe it when Mr. Garfiel said you were coming," she cried as she pulled away from the embrace.

Winry pulled Paninya into another hug. "I missed you too, Pan!"

Alphonse stepped into view. "Hi, Pan!"

Paninya's eyes grew wide when her gaze met with olive-gold. Her cheeks acquired a red hue, which got even brighter as she admired the younger, and in her opinion, the most handsome of the two Elric brothers.

"Hi, Al!" Paninya gave Alphonse the tightest of hugs. "I didn't know you were coming!" she squeaked while brushing a fly away behind her left ear. Turning to Winry, and while offering her a death stare, she added, "I guess the gear-head forgot to mention _that_ little detail."

Alphonse rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. "I guess she did."

"Ahem!" Mei exclaimed as she slid into view, quickly entwining Alphonse's free hand in hers.

Paninya's face fell.

"I'm Mei Chan, sister to the current Emperor of Xing," she said. Turning her attention to her boyfriend, she added, "and Alphonse's girlfriend." Mei ended her introduction by flashing a menacing smile.

The cat rolled his eyes, so did the older Elric.

Paninya stared at Alphonse's girlfriend. She knew exactly who she was; Winry had talked about the Xinguese princess in the past. The way this girl looked at Alphonse was a dead giveaway that she was head-over-heels in love with him. And unfortunately, so was him. Her poor, poor heart. Paninya turned her heartbreak inside out and offered Mei a most friendly smile. "Nice meeting ya, Mei Chan. I'm Paninya, Winry's partner in crime," she said, even extended her hand to Mei for a handshake.

Mei, who at first felt threatened by Paninya, blushed fiercely at her open gesture of friendship. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Paninya," Mei said as she shook her hand.

"The pleasure is all mine," Paninya grinned. She then turned to Edward, and immediately back away. Winry's main squeeze looked so pissed it made her skin raise in goosebumps. But it also made her curious. Maybe the famed Fullmetal Alchemist did something to anger Winry, a "something" she took care of before reaching Rush Valley.

Paninya inched closer to Alphonse and Mei. "I see that your brother is being his usual pleasant self," she commented.

Alphonse chuckled. "Something like that."

Paninya raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Is it that bad?"

"Well, one can say that he's not feeling quite like himself—" Mei managed to say before she started giggling.

Paninya stared at Mei. Did she miss a joke or something?

The cat started yowling loudly in his cage. Paninya searched for the source of the screeching noise. On the floor next to Mei were two pet carriers. The top one held a strange black and white cat, the other held a golden-haired cat. Her round, dark eyes widened with delight when she saw that the golden-haired cat was staring directly at her from behind the gate.

Turning to both Alphonse and Mei, she asked, "What're their names?"

"That's Xiao Mei," Mei replied while pointing to the top carrier.

"The cat's name is Ed," Alphonse said referring to his older brother.

Paninya couldn't hold the cackle that burst out of her chest. "The cat's name is 'Ed'?" She laughed some more. Turning to the impostor, she chortled, "Isn't that adorable?" The impostor gave her a death glare which only made Paninya laugh even harder.

The cat yowled again.

Paninya returned her attention to the cat. She squatted in front of the carrier. A grin spread across her face. She loved cats more than most human beings. Turning to Alphonse, she asked, "Can I take him out?"

Alphonse smiled. "Of course, Pan."

Paninya nodded. She released the pins that held the metal door in place and gently removed the real Edward from the carrier. She exploded in a fit of laughter when she got a good look at the cat. "He has a chunk of hair sticking out—just like your brother!" She glanced again at Edward then met Alphonse's. "Now I know why your brother looks so pissed off."

The cat purred, which made Paninya returned her attention to him.

A strong gust of wind swept across the train station lifting all sorts of things into the air, mostly dust.

Paninya looked around to see how many people were still hanging around the train station. Thankfully there weren't many. "We should hurry," she said as she returned her attention to the group. "I think there's a storm coming."

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The sun had already hidden behind a dark veil of clouds. Paninya's stumps began to ache. "Yep, it's going to rain any moment now."

"Just great," the impostor groused.

Paninya couldn't help but stare at the older Elric. Sweat covered his forehead and upper lip. His nose was scrunched up, and it wasn't because of the smell of horse dung, oil and sweat impregnating the street. She had a good guess at what was bothering him, which was the same thing that was beginning to bother her. At least she wasn't limping like Edward was.

Rush Valley was a busy city. Right now the streets were dressed with scaffolding from multiple renovations being done to the historical buildings. It made transit by foot nearly impossible, and a complete hassle to people that had artificial limbs attached to their bodies.

"Where are the taxis around here?" the impostor spat in utter annoyance.

The comment raised some concern.

"Ed, Atelier Garfiel is just four blocks away from the train station," Winry replied. "Besides, do you think a car can travel through this mess?"

The impostor said nothing in return.

Edward became worried. The aching pain radiating from the automail port was starting to affect Don Paco. If this continued, all hell was going to break loose. He looked up at Paninya, who was still carrying him in her arms. _Another cat person._ Her fascination with felines could prove to be detrimental to their plan.

Another gust of wind, stronger than the one that blew the inside of the train station, swept across the street, shaking all the scaffoldings adorning the storefronts.

Edward sensed that something ominous was coming their way. He looked around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. His animal instincts suddenly kicked in; the threat was coming from above. He looked up, and that's when he saw the crane holding a long steel beam. His hypersensitive hearing recognized the creaking of metal cables that were about to break.

At that same moment, Winry and the impostor were crossing under the crane.

"Look out!" he cried.

Alphonse and Mei turned to him, and so did the impostor.

"It's okay, Ed. It's only the wind making scary noises," Paninya said, trying to calm him.

Alphonse noticed his brother was looking up. He also looked up. The cable snapped. "Get out of the way!" he shouted.

Alphonse threw the bags on the floor and clapped his hands together to transmute a barrier but he was too late.

The beam crashed into the ground with a loud bang. Some people close to the accident started screaming. The dust hadn't settled yet so they didn't know if Winry and the impostor got hurt by the falling object.

"No-no-no!" Edward cried out of desperation. He tried again to wiggle out of Paninya's arms but she wasn't letting him go. She let him no choice but scratch her arms.

Howling in pain, Paninya released the cat.

Edward darted towards the scene of the accident. "Winry!" he called. His stomach knotted up when he heard Winry screaming his name. Edward reminded himself to stay calm. The dust around the site was particularly thick but it was beginning to dissipate. He kept moving forward. Seconds later a lone figure rose a few feet away from him. As he got closer he recognized the figure to be Winry. A sense of relief washed over him when he saw she was unharmed. He noticed that Winry was kneeling next to the impostor, her index and middle fingers pressed against his body's jugular. Edward's stomach clenched at the hint of panic in her expression. _My body!_

Edward ran the rest of the way. Don Paco was coming to when he reached Winry's side.

"Someone help this guy out!" cried one terrified spectator.

Don Paco started moving around. He wasn't screaming in pain, which told Edward that his original body was okay.

"Dammit!" Don Paco hissed.

On a closer look, Edward realized that the man had his automail sandwiched between the sidewalk and the mangled steel beam. If it wasn't for the fact that he was trapped inside the body of a cat, he would've used alchemy to help the bastard out.

Alphonse finally managed to push through the crowd encircling the accident. "Are you okay?" he asked Winry as he squatted next to her.

"I'm fine," Winry replied. Her eyes went to the impostor. "Ed's automail is trapped under the beam. Can you help him?"

Alphonse paused momentarily to scan the scene before him. Just as he clapped his hands together to initiate the transmutation, he heard another clap. A bluish light touched everything and everyone that was surrounding the impostor.

The steel beam split in three. The impostor pushed aside the section pinning the metal limb.

Edward dug his front claws in the cement to prevent himself from hurting that idiot, but he couldn't help the low guttural growl from reverberating in his chest.

"You have your alchemy back?" Winry said, appalled.

Don Paco stared at Winry, his expression stunned. After a moment, he snapped out of it. "Surprise!" he hollered, then he let out a long and deep belly laugh.

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* * *

 **The FMA Big Bang Challenge for 2017 ends this Sunday, November 19.** I was granted an extension because life happens. Anyway, I will be posting chapters (probably 2x per week) until December 5, 2017.

 **Chapter 9 will be posted early next week.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

 **Note: So a scene in this chapter was illustrated by the talented Dzioo.** I requested her to recreate the final scene in this chapter. I believe it captured what the story is all about. Dzioo did such amazing worj that I actually changed the dialogue to better fit the scene. And the values in the illustration are spectacular. She the entire composition glows! Do you know how hard it is to accomplish light in a visual medium? I'm quite pleased with the end product. Please support her work. Dzioo is on Tumblr and Deviant Art, just put the name in the search field (or just go to my AO3 page which will have actual links to her pages).

* * *

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 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

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 **Chapter 9**

"Fuck!" Edward spat after Alphonse put him on the bed. "Why would—" he stopped, his feline eyes narrowed in utter contempt. "FUCK!" he spat again.

Paninya raised an eyebrow. "Wow..." she couldn't help but comment. Shifting her attention from the cat to Alphonse, she added, "You need to slow down on the catnip, Al. The poor thing is going bonkers."

Mei laughed nervously; Paninya raised her other eyebrow.

Alphonse stared at them for a brief moment then turned to engage in conversation with his older brother. "I don't get it neither, Ed," he said, picking up where Edward left off. "He threw himself in harm's way to save Winry."

Edward looked at Paninya. "You really want to talk about this in front of her?" he said as he returned his attention back to his brother.

Alphonse shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like I want to, but time's ticking, Ed."

Edward took a moment to consider his brother's words; "Plan B" definitely needed to be reassessed. "I guess we only have this small window of time to alter our plan," he conceded.

Alphonse shook his head. "Unfortunately."

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly. "I just don't get it," he said, going back to the previous topic. "That bastard told us he was going to hurt Winry if we exposed his true identity to her or to others, but he literally jumped in to save her."

"Sounds like something you would do," Alphonse said with a knowing smile.

Edward chuckled, "That's true." His thoughts trailed off. He'd been experiencing this "cell memory" effect himself ever since he got stuck inside Domingo's body, but something told him that Don Paco had acted on his own accord. "We have to move fast," Edward said, returning to the moment. "I don't think Don Paco will be able to keep his act up for long. I'm worried about what he'll do to Winry the moment she starts asking him questions—because she will start asking him questions."

"I know what you mean, Brother. It was hard enough to convince her it was my idea to keep his alchemy hidden from her."

Edward grimaced. "Sorry about that."

Alphonse smiled. "I'm just relieved that nothing bad happened to your body."

"The leg got damaged, though," Edward groused.

"True, but Winry said it wasn't anything major," Alphonse mentioned. Almost immediately, his expression turned serious. "Don Paco will be back on his feet in no time—no pun intended," he said, quoting Winry's words after she examined the broken automail back at Atelier Garfiel.

"Excuse me Al, but are you actually having a conversation with the cat?" Paninya interrupted.

Alphonse turned to her. He glanced at Mei before saying, "What if I was?" He was quiet for a moment. Finally, he said, "How does that make you feel?"

Paninya blinked like an owl. She looked at everyone in the room before returning her attention to Alphonse. "To each their own?" she answered, laughing nervously. Her eyes slid to Edward. "But this cat does seem to understand everything you say."

Mei held Paninya by the hand. "Why don't you sit down?" she said as she guided her to the nearest chair.

Paninya sat down, looking nonplussed.

Mei joined Alphonse's side and waited for him to continue. Alphonse locked eyes with Mei for a brief second before returning his attention to the expectant girl.

"Paninya," he began, pausing a moment to gather his thoughts. "You're correct. This cat understands me. He also understands you, Mei, and pretty much anyone else in Amestris. Not only can the cat understand people, he can talk too." He glanced at Edward before continuing. "You see, this cat here is actually my brother Edward."

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Paninya sat on her chair with eyes unblinking, staring at the wall across from her in the small hotel room she got for the Elric's a few hours before their arrival to Rush Valley.

An hour ago, this hadn't been the case. She'd been holding her sides laughing—and who wouldn't? Alphonse Elric dared to say, with a straight face, that the cat he brought with him from Resembool was in actuality his older brother Edward. The tale was comedy gold!

Things got even funnier when both Alphonse and Mei tried to explain how Edward got shoved into the body of a cat. Being playful by nature, she started asking them questions just to see what kind of fib they would come up next—because that's what their story was: a fib. But her initial amusement quickly died down. What had been funny at first was starting to become worrisome. Alphonse and Mei said her best friend was in trouble. She got upset at them when they couldn't fully explain what kind of trouble she was in. They tried talking about it, they even tried explaining themselves through writing, but gibberish and silly doodles didn't make for a convincing story. There was one thing she found intriguing, though, and it was Ed the Cat. The way his tail moved while she, Alphonse and Mei talked, told her he was consciously following the conversation. She also noticed that his tail had gone from wagging to stiff and puffed. Ed the Cat looked frustrated, and that didn't make much sense.

Then things turned downright freaky when the cat took over for Alphonse and Mei. Paninya couldn't help the scream that ripped out of her when Ed the Cat clapped his forefeet together and transmuted the mattress he was sitting on. And she couldn't help but let out a string of expletives once Alphonse started admonishing the cat for what he'd done.

What the cat did make a believer out of her. "How?" Paninya had to ask the obvious question.

 _"Necessity is the mother of all invention."_ Dominic used to say, and that's exactly what happened when the Ed the Cat started meowing to Alphonse.

"You want me to write the alphabet on the floor?" Alphonse sputtered what Ed the Cat had meowed. He also offered the group his opinion on the matter. "I don't think pointing to letters will work either," he said.

Paninya didn't need a translator to understand Ed the Cat's response, nor she had to wait to find out what the cat wanted to do with the alphabet. Ed the Cat jumped out of the bed and sauntered his way to the letters. He meowed something to his brother, which Alphonse repeated out loud.

"Tell Paninya to follow my lead and spell out the words I'm going to form by stepping on the letters," Alphonse said.

Little-by-little, Ed the Cat told the story Alphonse and Mei couldn't thanks to the curse Don Paco placed them in.

Paninya's thoughts returned to the present moment. She looked to her left, where Alphonse and Edward were located, and said, "Edward, man..." She shook her head, then, after snorting sarcastically, she added, "You really are something else."

Edward drew back his lips and hissed at her. If Winry wasn't in such dire predicament, Paninya would've taken her sweet time ripping on the older Elric.

"Winry told me she wasn't going to take long helping—" Paninya stopped abruptly, she didn't what to call that man.

"Shit-head," Edward contributed.

"Don Paco," Alphonse translated.

Paninya grinned at the brothers. "I think I'm going to call him 'Ed the Man' since you're 'Ed the Cat'," she said as she pointed at Edward.

Mei giggled; somehow Alphonse managed to hold back his chuckles; and, Edward hissed at all of them.

Paninya stood up. "Let's go! There's a damsel in distress waiting for us at Atelier Garfiel." She started for the door but stopped. Turning around, she mentioned, "Let me do the talking." Then, fixing her gaze on Edward, she added, "Kitties don't use alchemy, capeesh?"

Her expression suddenly turned distant as if recalling something utterly frightening. "It's never a good thing to scare Mr. Garfiel," she warned as she returned to the present moment.

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Paninya entered Atelier Garfiel first. Mei followed closely behind. Alphonse entered last, along with Edward, who was resting on his right arm.

The front of the store was unattended, making everyone in the group instantly worry. Had Don Paco made his move while they were conspiring back in the hotel room?

"Yo, Garfiel!" Paninya called, but no one answered. A second later, she hollered, "There's handsome young man out here desperately seeking for a strong automail engineer to give him a good tune-up!"

Mr. Garfiel suddenly appeared from behind the beaded curtain separating the front of his store from the workshop in the back. While clasping a dirty rag in his hands, he looked about the room trying to find the young man Paninya mentioned. Besides Paninya, only Alphonse, his cat, and the Xinguese girl occupied the space in his store. "Not cool, Pan!" Mr. Garfiel snapped as he turned a glare on her. "And I heard you the first time," he added while he finished wiping his hands with the rag. After letting out an annoyed huff, he turned his attention to everyone. "I hope you found the hotel cozy—not that you had a lot of places to choose from."

"How's my brother doing?" Alphonse asked.

Mr. Garfiel tucked the rag inside one of his pants back pockets. Then, after placing a strong paw on each hip, he said, "Ed's leg wasn't as damaged as we originally thought."

Alphonse squished Edward against his chest, preventing his movement.

"It was a quick fix, really. Winry finished working on him a while ago," Mr. Garfiel elaborated.

Paninya stepped into his personal space. "Why didn't you call us?" she demanded, staring up at him.

Mr. Garfiel's neatly-trimmed eyebrows dipped into a frown. "Because Dominic called. He wanted to see if Winry could stop by his place right away."

"Did Dominic say what he needed Winry for?" Alphonse intruded.

Edward looked up. His brother had used a measured voice, which only happened when he was really nervous.

Mr. Garfiel shook his head. "No idea, hon."

Mei pressed him, "Is Edward with her?"

Mr. Garfiel smiled. "He's resting in the backroom. The repair took a toll on him." He paused to suppress a chuckle. "I've never seen anyone cry the way he did."

They all looked at each other. This was the perfect opportunity to tell the master automail engineer what was happening.

Alphonse gave Paninya one nod, the signal they all agreed upon to put "Plan C" into action.

"Mr. Garfiel," Paninya began, only stopping momentarily to clear her throat. "There's something you need to know."

Mr. Garfiel's expression went from amused to neutral as he stared into the girl's big round eyes. He lowered his buffed arms to each side and curled his hardened hands into tight fists. After a brief silence, he said, "Does this 'something' has to do with our dear Win?"

"I'm afraid it is," Paninya replied.

"¡Ay, que muchachita más dramática!"

Everyone followed the voice to the backroom. The impostor just pushed through the bead curtain. His eyes roamed the front room, briefly resting on each and everyone presently occupying the small area. A malicious smile spread across his face. "You Amestrians are _so_ melodramatic," he joked.

"Says the man that wails like a baby," Edward countered.

"I know!" Don Paco guffawed. "According to your girly, I sound like a real wuss." He sauntered towards Mr. Garfiel. Placing a firm hand on the man's shoulder, he added, "Isn't that right?"

Mr. Garfiel shook his head. "I'm afraid is true. Winry is turning out to be such a naughty girl."

"There-there," Don Paco said while giving the hulking man soft pats. He peeled his eyes momentarily from Mr. Garfiel to offer everyone a condescending look. "Where does this Dominic fella lives?" He asked as he returned his attention back to the engineer.

"He lives on the outskirts of town. Head east from here, and use the bridge to cross the canyon."

Don Paco gave Mr. Garfiel a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. "Thank you, my good man," he said before starting for the door.

"I would take a horse if I were you, sir." Mr. Garfiel added.

"What do you think you're doing! He's not who you think he is!" Paninya shrieked.

Edward's eyes flitted from Don Paco to Mr. Garfiel and back to Don Paco. The bastard was smirking. "He did something to him!" Edward warned.

Mr. Garfiel connected a solid hook to Paninya's face before anyone had a chance to react. The girl fell to the floor with a loud thud.

"Paninya!" Alphonse cried out.

"Al, let me down!" Edward yelled. Alphonse let go of him; and he landed swiftly on the floor.

Mei tried to rush to Paninya's side but Mr. Garfiel got in her way. He threw a left jab at her missing the right side of her face by a hair. Mei sidestepped the man then jump back, keeping herself out of reach.

"Mei are you okay?" Alphonse asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. Mei returned her attention to her contender. Not a single hair was out of place in Mr. Garfiel's perfectly-styled locks. "This guy knows how to fight," she said as the man moved around the place like a boxer after the bell rings.

Alphonse turned to the impostor. "What did you do to him?" he roared.

"Did you think I didn't notice your scheming?" Don Paco was quick to reply. He looked at Mr. Garfiel. "I just got myself some insurance."

"You cursed him?" Edward accused.

"Charmed him," Don Paco answered with a sleazy grin. "One kiss on the lips was all I needed for that man to fall under my spell."

"You what!" Edward shrieked. To his utter mortification, the impostor began laughing.

"Looks like Tough Guy here has hots for you, cano!" He hollered.

"Shut your trap already!" Alphonse cut him off.

Don Paco turned to him. Alphonse clapped his hands together, readying himself to transmute.

"By all means, baby brother, use your alchemy," Don Paco goaded.

Alphonse simply grinned. He placed his hands on an automail hand that was mounted on the display wall. The metallic hand reshaped into two double-edged daggers held together by a strange-looking hilt. "Here!" Alphonse said as he slid the weapon across the floor to where Edward stood.

"Thanks, Al!" Edward replied before biting down on the hilt.

Don Paco blinked a few times before a loud cackle ripped through his mouth. "So the cute little kitty is the one who's going to fight me."

"Damn right!" Edward said while clenching down on the hilt. He lunged himself at the impostor without warning, only managing to slice through the fabric of his pants.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" Don Paco screeched. "You're going to wound your own body, pendejo!"

"What's one more scar?" Edward answered. He abstained from saying anything else, his grip on the weapon was weakening faster than he'd expected.

"You're crazy!" Don Paco cried, his eyes darting in all directions, looking for a way to escape. He found an opening and made a mad dash to the front door. As he ran, he heard more clapping. Blue sparks rushed past him, heading straight for the door, then the wood under his feet began creaking.

Edward expected Don Paco to crash into the giant wooden hand he just transmuted to cover his only exit, but the bastard managed to stop in his tracks.

"What the hell is this?" Don Paco shrieked. He spun around in a flash. Tiny sparks, remnants of the alchemical transmutation, still danced around Edward's forefeet. Don Paco's breath hitched, and his eyes rounded in disbelief.

"You know, Brother has been waiting for this moment for quite some time now," Alphonse said, then paused.

Edward understood why his brother stopped, Alphonse was savoring the small victory, with every bit of enthusiasm like he was.

Finally, Alphonse said, "I feel sorry for you, sorcerer, because, even if you had wanted to, there was no real way you could've known the kind of person you've decided to mess with."

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* * *

 **The FMA Big Bang Challenge for 2017 ended on Sunday, November 19.** I was granted an extension because life happens. Anyway, I will be posting chapters (probably 2x per week) until December 5, 2017.

 **Chapter 10 will be posted on Thanksgiving Weekend. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

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.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

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 **Chapter 10**

Edward knew that expression well. In the past, he always tried to keep his shock well hidden under the guise of smug indifference. Of course, there were instances where that mask had fallen off, and he'd experienced the effects of gravity pulling on his jaw. Now that he's been more or less forced to become a spectator, watching the jaw of his original body hang open from utter shock was something he was never going to forget.

Don Paco, the bastard he has come to abhor ever since their fateful encounter back in the western confines of Creta, was completely dismayed with what just happened. Edward dropped the blade on the floor. "My brother's right, Paquito, you couldn't have known the kind of person you decided to mess with," he taunted, even called him by Matilde's pet name just to rile him up. His fierce grin turned voracious. "I want my body back, cabrón."

Edward noticed that Don Paco wasn't paying him much attention. The bastard had the gall to look for another way out of the place.

"Give it up, sorcerer. There's nowhere to run," Alphonse said. "Turn yourself over—peacefully—and I'll make sure Brother doesn't get to hurt you too badly after you return him to his body."

Don Paco stopped what he was doing. He glared at Alphonse before locking eyes with Edward's. "If I turn myself in, who's going to escort me back to Creta? You Flea Bag?" He sneered, then returned his gaze back to Alphonse. "Or is it going to be you, Fumbles?" He gave a loud cackle. "I would pay to see _that_ happening."

"Who extradites you is none of your concern," Alphonse said, curtly.

The corners of the impostor's mouth curled up in mischief. "Well, I'm not planning to stick around to find out," he replied. Then, looking past Alphonse, he shouted, "Now!"

"Alphonse-sama!" Mei screamed.

Alphonse turned only to see a piece of automail flying his way. Thanks to Mei's warning, he had a chance to move out of the way before the solid artifact struck him in the head.

Mr. Garfiel took a swing at the Xinguese princess. "You little bitch!" he growled as he threw another punch at her.

"Dammit!" Edward spat. They've both fallen for a ruse!

Both Edward and Alphonse heard clapping. The hand blocking the door to Atelier Garfiel shattered to bits. A second transmutation destroyed the front door; Don Paco made a mad dash out of the store.

"That fucking piece of shit!" Edward roared.

"Brother, look out!"

Another prosthetic flew their way. Edward managed to jump out of the way just in the nick of time. The prosthetic—a full-length automail leg—crashed into the wall, embedding itself into the drywall.

Edward flashed a menacing glare at Mr. Garfiel; Alphonse ran to his girlfriend to help her.

"I got this!" Mei yelled. She slid to the right, evading Mr. Garfiel's left hook. "Don't let that sorcerer get away!" she added before lunging at the master automail engineer.

Alphonse stopped in his tracks. "Thanks," he said with a proud smile. He made a one-eighty and ran back to his brother. "Let's go catch that man before he reaches Winry," he said as he scooped Edward in his arms.

Alphonse ran out of the shop, turning left on the street that led towards the end of town.

Don Paco was about one block ahead of them. He stopped next to a pedestrian; most likely he was asking for directions.

Alphonse tried to blend in with the crowd, but the sorcerer spotted them. Don Paco clapped his hands together, dropped down to one knee, and placed his palms on the sidewalk. The pavement opened up like the petals of a blossoming flower. Alphonse, and pretty much everyone transiting on the sidewalk, had to move away lest be struck by a piece of concrete. Alphonse lost grip of his brother, but Edward managed to land safely a foot away from him.

Edward turned around and clapped his forefeet together. He pressed them onto the broken sidewalk; blue sparks shot forward snaking towards Don Paco. But Edward hadn't been fast enough. Don Paco moved out of the way before panels of reshaped concrete caged him in.

Soon after, screams invaded the street as people began to realize what was happening around them. Some spectators began cursing at Don Paco for the destruction he was creating. Others were screaming in fear because a cat had used alchemy.

Edward heard Alphonse cursing under his breath. He wasn't surprised, he knew things looked bad from every angle—kind of like that time when they first met Ling, Ran Fan, and Fuu.

"We need to keep the damages to a minimum, Brother," Alphonse said as he scooped Edward up to retake the chase.

"Fuck the damages!" Edward spat. "We need to stop that man at any cost!"

"Ed, have you forgotten what we did to this town a few years back?" Alphonse countered, incredulous that his brother could still think so irresponsibly.

Edward scoffed. "Mustang can take care of it."

Alphonse let out a frustrated groan. "Newsflash, Ed! You're not in the military anymore!"

Don Paco stopped by some horses tied to a post next to a watering hole. With a partial transmutation, he was able to free one of the horses. He mounted the beast—a palomino—and flashed a smug smile at the brothers who were fast approaching. Since the reins were torn off by the transmutation, he fisted the horse's mane in his hand. "See ya, boys!" He boasted before kicking the sides of the horse. The beast complained about the rough treatment but Don Paco managed to quickly subdue him. The horse galloped away.

Alphonse ran faster. "Break the reigns of a horse!" He said as he let Edward on the ground.

Edward complied. Clapping his forefeet, he broke the reigns of a pinto horse with a simple transmutation.

Alphonse got on the horse. "Hurry up, Brother," he said as he reached for Edward.

"I didn't know you could ride a horse," Edward commented after his brother set him on the saddle.

"Alkahestry wasn't the only thing I learned in Xing," Alphonse boasted.

Edward couldn't hold off a laugh. "It sure looks that way, baby brother."

Alphonse frowned, not liking Edward's tone, nor his insinuation. "Not cool Ed. Not cool," he admonished.

Edward laughed harder.

Alphonse smacked him on the head. He then fisted the pinto's mane in his hand like Don Paco had done. "Hold on tight," he said as he kicked the horse's sides.

Edward didn't have a chance to yell at his brother for smacking him in the head, he was plenty busy making sure he didn't fall off the saddle.

Alphonse looked down. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Edward answered. He dug his claws deep into the leather to secure himself in place. "Just don't lose him!"

The Far West spread across the entire length of Creta, from another to South. The harsh conditions of the region made modern progress an almost impossible feat, but people of the region had learned to adapt to their unforgiving environment. People in the Far West didn't rely on technology to go on with lives, they learned to live from the land, and with the land. This was the first lesson Edward received when he first set foot on the edge of the Far West. Horses were priceless, and their lives were far more valuable than a human's. Almost all the people he met during his questing were highly skilled with managing such beasts; for their survival, they had to. Don Paco wasn't an exception. The man took a stranger's horse and rode it as if it was his own. And it was clear he knew how to make a beast gallop. The gap between his horse and Alphonse's horse was becoming wider by the second.

"Al, do something!" Edward shouted.

Even though the chase prevented both parties from using alchemy, the battle was still raging. Unfortunately for Dominic, it was moved to his territory.

Don Paco was already halfway across the bridge while Alphonse was still rounding the curve leading to the bridge.

"Can you make the horse go faster?" Edward asked.

Alphonse took his eyes off the road to look at his brother. "I don't think it's a good idea to do that, Ed. I don't know this horse's temper."

"Shit," Edward cussed under his breath. His brother was right, they shouldn't push a horse they didn't know. Right now wasn't the time for screwups.

Don Paco just finished crossing the bridge. He pulled back hard on the horse's mane. The palomino swerved at first, but he managed to force it to stop. The animal backpedaled, then turned around, and, with a loud neigh, reared on its hind legs. Don Paco held on to the horse's mane to prevent from being launched off the saddle. The horse got back on all fours. Don Paco then leaned forward to hush the animal. He heard galloping while he stroked the palomino's neck. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the brothers getting ready to cross the bridge.

Don Paco jumped off the stolen horse and walked up to the bridge. He clapped his hands together and placed them on one of the support beams. Blue electricity enveloped the beam. He did a partial transmutation so the entire structure would acquire the strength of balsa wood.

The first thing that gave out was the support beam he made direct contact with. The surrounding wood snapped, and the opposite support beam whined. Seconds later, they both collapsed. The entire structure on Don Paco's side fell into the canyon. The mid-section buckled under pressure, it also fell into the canyon along with the other support beams. The broken planks still attached to the beams on the other side of the bridge slammed against the sheetrock wall. Alphonse had to pull hard on the pinto's mane, or they would've fallen over the precipice.

Don Paco put his hands on each side of his mouth. "Good luck!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. He also waved them goodbye before returning to his horse.

The brothers watched as he rode away.

Edward jumped out of the horse and approached the rocky ledge. Don Paco was already starting the descent down the canyon's side. Soon, that man was going to reach Dominic's place.

"If that cocky bastard thinks he's won—" he began but stopped.

Edward clapped his forefeet together and touched the ground before him. A series of steps emerged from the sheetrock, similar to the ones he constructed to cut down a path into the canyon to intercept Paninya, who at the time, had stolen his State Alchemist pocket watch in an attempt to prove the prowess of Winry's automail.

Edward jumped on the first rock formation. He turned around to Alphonse. "Are you coming, or what?"

Alphonse rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly.

Edward knew why Alphonse was being difficult. He had to admit the scene unraveling before them was like deja vu all over again, but instead of chasing after a stolen watch, they were chasing after a stolen body.

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Edward and Alphonse found the palomino panting near some bushes after they arrived at Dominic's house.

"Dammit! We weren't fast enough!" Edward snarled.

"Calm down, Brother."

Edward offered Alphonse an angry glare. "Did you forget what he did to Mr. Garfiel?"

Alphonse burst out laughing. "How can I forget?" He laughed some more. "All I know is that Winry has some serious competition now."

"Ha-ha. My brother the comedian," Edward retorted. "For your information, Mr. Garfiel asked Winry once if you were into men. So there!—how do you like them apples?"

Alphonse turned bright red. "I'll enter through the front door while you enter through the back. That way the sorcerer won't be able to escape," he said, changing the subject.

Edward let him off the hook this time. There were going to be plenty of opportunities to make fun of his little brother for blushing at his comment after he returned to his original body. "You're cursed, Al, you can't fight him," he said, focusing on their mission.

Alphonse rolled his eyes at Edward. "Thank you for reminding me, Ed," he said in a snappish tone. "I know I'm useless against him but I can sure serve as a diversion while you go in for the kill."

Edward grinned. "Point taken." He gazed at the house towering over him. "Let's go," he said then sprang into action.

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Edward pressed an ear to the back door, keenly listening in for any signs of commotion inside the LeCoultre's home. Nothing yet. His tail was quivering with excitement—an expected reaction. He was mere seconds away from launching an assault on Don Paco, the man who not only had stolen his body but also wanted to steal his girl. Very soon that sunnovabitch was going to fall hard.

Edward took the opportunity to go over in his head about their newest plan. First, he needed to break the lock—a partial transmutation should suffice. Then, he was going to slip into the house, locate the bastard, and wait for Alphonse's signal. His brother was in charge of creating the diversion, he was in charge of attacking, and he was going to do this by using alchemy. His first of two transmutations would turn a portion of the flooring near the impostor into a fist, which he then would manipulate so it would ram against the right flank of his original body; the target area was the liver. Aside from his brother, not many people knew that this was the easiest way to incapacitate him. Don Paco can't even begin to grasp the world of hurt he was soon going to be hurled in. In his second transmutation, he was going to create some restraints from the rest of the flooring. Don Paco was probably going to be in so much pain that he wasn't going to notice the exact moment when his hands and feet got secured to the floor. Once the man was effectively immobilized, he was going to search his pockets until he found the Philosopher's Stone. And then—

Edward heard a loud noise. "About time," he said to himself as he clapped his forefeet together.

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Alphonse kicked the front door open. Winry, Dominic, Ridel, and the impostor stared at him in shock.

"Winry, you see now? Al's gone insane!" the impostor said as he nudged closer to Dominic.

Dominic gritted his teeth together. "Break something else and I'll start breaking things too—like an arm or a leg, for example."

Alphonse staggered. "I promise to repair everything in sight, Mr. Dominic." He turned a menacing glare on the impostor. "This man—" he began but the curse placed upon him made his throat cinch.

Ridel raised a brow. "Al, are you really okay?"

"Fuck!" Alphonse swore out in utter frustration. He turned to Winry. "You need to get out of here now!" It was all he could say without triggering the curse.

"Now you're threatening my Winry?" Don Paco shrieked. "You all heard him!" His eyes were darting in all directions.

"Did you lose something?" Alphonse taunted.

Winry, Dominic, and Ridel looked at Alphonse, perplexed.

Don Paco glared.

The sorcerer's composure was starting to come off at the seams. He looked like a cornered animal, and like a cornered animal, if pushed past its limit, would strike back.

It was time to signal Edward.

Alphonse launched himself at Winry while screaming, "Now Ed!"

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"Finally," Edward said to himself.

He sucked in a deep breath then came out of hiding. Everyone's eyes turned to the armoire from where he jumped out from. He was about to clap his paws together when Don Paco pulled Winry close to him.

"No!" Alphonse cried in despair.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Edward hissed at Don Paco.

The impostor's lips curved up just a tiny fraction.

Winry stayed still.

Edward realized something was wrong with the picture before him. Winry should've been upset with the situation, but there she was, looking too calm and collected.

Winry carefully moved her right hand along her utility belt. She was reaching for the monkey wrench. Once she had it in her hand, she turned to the impostor, and said, "I'm so sorry."

Winry swung too fast; Edward was only able to catch the glint of the wrench as it connected with the side of his original body's head. Don Paco hit the ground with a loud thud.

"Are you insane, girl?" Dominic yelled at her as he crouched next to the impostor to check his vitals.

Winry didn't say anything in return. She was staring at Alphonse whose relieved expression said to everyone she did the right thing.

Edward got close to his original body. Don Paco was out cold. He shivered, thinking how many times he'd been in that situation.

"How did you know?" Alphonse asked as he approached Winry.

"I already knew something weird was going on. I just didn't know what," Winry answered. She looked at the unconscious blond; her brow furrowed. "When he said that you wanted to hurt him"—she paused to offer Alphonse a knowing smile—"you would never hurt your older brother."

Alphonse reciprocated the smile.

Winry walked to the cat and knelt beside him. "Like I said; I don't know exactly what's going on, but it looks like Ed here holds the answer."

Edward gaped up at her. "Color me impressed," he blurted out. He couldn't be more proud of Winry, even if he wanted to.

Winry's eyes rounded. "The cat—!" she cried out. "The cat just talked!"

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* * *

 **The FMA Big Bang Challenge for 2017 ended on Sunday, November 19.** I was granted an extension because life happens. Anyway, I will be posting chapters (probably 2x per week) until December 5, 2017.

 **Chapter 11 will be posted by the end of the week.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 11**

"Ed?" Winry said. Confusion was evident in both her tone of voice and in her gaze.

Edward just couldn't believe it, Winry could understand him.

Alphonse tried to speak on his behalf but the grip of the curse was strong. All he could do was nod at her.

Winry gripped the monkey wrench tighter in her hand. Her brow furrowed deeper.

"A curse was placed on Al," Edward mentioned. Winry turned to him, her eyes widening in dismay; it almost made him reconsider his words. But there was no easy way of telling Winry what had happened in the past few days. He took a deep breath, and continued where he left off, "Something around the same lines happened to me."

Winry's breath hitched. She looked at Alphonse then at Edward. "How?" she breathed.

Edward sucked in a deep breath himself. "It's a long story, Win, so you might want to sit down before I tell it to you."

Dominic placed a strong hand on his son's shoulder. "Let's go," he said then headed for the kitchen.

Ridel glanced at them and offered a tight smile before walking to the kitchen.

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Winry squeezed the coffee mug Ridel brought for her. She took a long sip of coffee, then took another as if the hot beverage was not coffee but hard liquor.

Ed the Cat, who in reality was her colossally moronic boyfriend, told a story that would make anyone's head spin. As Edward told the fantastic story, she couldn't help but stare at his original body, which Edward himself had immobilized by bounding the hands and feet with manacles he'd transmuted with his forefeet.

Winry had lived through many extraordinary events, yet she was having a hard time believing that magick—the word ending with a "K", as Edward pointed out many times during his explanation—existed in this world.

"Edward Elric, you're going to be the death of me, you know that?" Winry mentioned, half-jokingly.

"You know you like it, babe," Edward tried to guffaw, but his forced tone made the comment sound wry—regretful even.

"Ugh!" Alphonse wrinkled his nose and shook his head. Turning to Winry, he asked, "Why are you with him again?"

Edward glared at him. "Like you're one to talk," he scoffed. "Alphonse-sama this, Alphonse-sama that," he said in a high-pitched voice, imitating Mei. Then he cleared his voice, and said, as he tried not to chuckle, "'My adored princess, my life is at your service'.".

"I don't say things like that," Alphonse spat.

Edward couldn't hold back the chuckles anymore. "You're corny, and you know it. And I bet Lil' Mis Bean loves it."

"You know what? I liked you better when I couldn't understand a word you were saying," Alphonse retorted.

Winry started chuckling too and cackled when both brothers turned their glares on her. "I really missed this," she said as she wiped away the mirthful tears from her eyes. She then turned her gaze toward the impostor. "I knew something was odd with Ed the day he came home," she said. Returning her gaze back to the real Edward, she added, "And I felt this strange familiarity coming from you."

Winry moved to the floor and signaled Edward to come closer. Edward approached her; and, Winry picked him up in her arms. She cuddled him and even buried her face on his fuzzy head. Closing her eyes she said, "I truly missed you." Her lips had been pressed against his fur when she spoke. Her words moved Edward because shortly after she said those heartfelt words, he purred. And she hugged him even tighter.

Alphonse simply smiled.

Unfortunately, for everyone, the tender moment was interrupted by the impostor's groaning.

"Ugh—my head..." Don Paco croaked. He tried to bring his hands to the sore spot in his head, but in the process, he smashed his forehead with the wood manacles Edward had transmuted. He tried to roll to a standing position. A string of unintelligible words tumbled out of his mouth when he realized that his legs were also bound. He stopped altogether. Finally, after a long pause, he started chuckling bitterly. "You finally caught me, Cano," Don Paco said. He gazed at Edward first, then turned his gaze to Winry. "How did you know, preciosa?"

Winry shot an angry glare at the impostor, but that didn't last long. She was sure she heard mewling. Winry turned her attention to Edward and waited for him to speak again. More mewling. Winry let out a shuddering breath. Turning to Alphonse, she asked, "Ed spoke, right?"

Her dismay must've been quite evident because Alphonse offered her a sympathetic smile before saying, "He did, Win."

"What did you do to her?" Edward roared as he flashed an angry stare at the impostor.

"Nothing, I swear," Don Paco said, and shook his manacles to drive the point across.

Edward's brow furrowed deeper. "She could hear me just fine a moment ago."

Don Paco turned his attention to Alphonse. "Help me sit, muchacho." Alphonse helped him sit against the wall. Finally, he turned to Edward, and said, "I don't know."

Edward started wiggling in Winry's arms; she let him down. Then, like Alphonse, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, also waiting to hear what the impostor had to say.

Edward approached Don Paco, he tried to control himself but the hairs on his back were standing on end and his tail was puffed. "Let me remind you again that you're bound and unable to use alchemy or any type of magick. You will tell us everything we want to know or suffer the consequences."

Don Paco blinked at first, then started laughing. "Let me get this straight. You're willing to hurt this body— _your body_ —to get the answers you seek?"

"Did I stutter?" Edward shot back at him.

The man gaped up at Edward before bursting into another fit of laughter. After a few long minutes, his laughter began trickling down, and then he stopped. Don Paco leaned back on the wall. He turned his full attention to Edward. "Cano, you're even crazier than I imagined."

"How did you—?" Alphonse asked but the curse once again made him choke.

Don Paco offered him a sympathetic smile. "How did I pull all this off? Well, I managed to swap bodies by chanting an ancient magick incantation, and I powered it up with a Sanguine Star I have in my possession."

"I knew it!" Edward cried out.

Don Paco waited until Edward settled down before continuing. "The curse, the charming; all that was accomplished with pure magick."

Winry, who had remained silent all this time, asked, "Sanguine Star?—as in the Philosopher's Stone?"

Alphonse nodded; and, Winry inhaled sharply.

"Where did you get the stone?" Alphonse demanded.

His brother had beaten Edward to it. Alphonse's consternation said it all, he was as just worried about Father's influence outside of Amestris.

"That's not important, muchacho," Don Paco replied, disregarding the question.

Edward felt his brother's true anger rising, and for the looks of it, so did the bastard.

Suddenly, Don Paco's expression became lost, giving the impression of traveling across a long distance. He snapped out of it, and, after offering everyone a rueful smile, he said, "There was a time when the Cretans from the east decided to increase their influence in the world. The men in power set their eyes on what they called 'the virgin territories of the Far West.' When we saw beauty in our arid landscapes, they saw free natural resources." Don Paco paused, his face turned distant for a second time. A moment later, after sighing, he continued. "These eastern men operated on base instincts: they set their eyes on something beautiful, and...they ravaged it." He licked his lips. "The battles between our people and these pale-skinned invaders were fierce." He sighed. "Shortly after the 'Battle of the Two Raging Bulls', I met Colonel Dorian Myers. He and his men decided to set camp in our humble village—the only village that so far managed to escape the assault of the savage Cretans. Colonel Myers wasn't a bad man. He treated us well. At the time, I was a young man, the protégé of our village's medicine man." Don Paco paused a brief moment on that memory. "I was curious by nature," he continued. "I went against my teacher's wishes and stroke a friendship with the Colonel. We met every night and talked until the skies once again turned pink and yellow." He paused again, chuckled to himself, then picked up where he left off. "It was during one of those nights that he showed me his Sanguine Star." He chuckled, but this time, his chuckles sounded bitter. "The Colonel was also curious man by nature. He thought a savage like me had the skills to become an alchemist. One day, he guided me to the other side, and that's how I met Truth for the first time." Don Paco's face darkened. "Truth showed me the mechanics of this world simply because I had the ticket with me—which at the time I wasn't aware that he was referring to the red stone. In those morsels of ancient memories, I saw how a person could use the Sanguine Star to gain immortality," he cackled. "Well, technically, it isn't immortality because you can still die, but you gain some power over the human condition by transferring your mind and soul into new hosts."

"'Battle of the Two Raging Bulls'...That happened over three-hundred years ago," Alphonse muttered.

"So he's been jumping from one body to another for quite some time now," Edward sneered.

"What happened to the Colonel?" Winry asked in a saddened voice.

Don Paco's lips twisted into a grimace. "One evening, a courier arrived at our village, and the Colonel received new orders," he continued. "Colonel Myers was ordered to wipe out our entire village as the high-ranking Cretan officials found our magick to be dangerous. I caught the Colonel squeezing the Sanguine Star in his hands as if it was some type of cursed object—it was then when I understood that these eastern Cretans used the red stones to force themselves over other territories." Don Paco stopped, his borrowed eyes shone with burning anger. "I swore to myself, as my brethren fell to prey of the madness of these men, that I was going to avenge them. Thanks to my friendship with the Colonel, I was able to meet him in private." He chuckled cynically. "He never saw the dagger coming."

"You took the Philosopher's Stone for yourself," Edward said, disdain dripping from his fangs and lips. He couldn't help it, he was tired of hearing the same tragic story playing over and over like a broken record.

"Even to this day, they haven't found the bones of the 57th Cretan Infantry." Don Paco's fists were shaking in his manacles. "Someone had to protect our culture and our ancient wisdom!" he snapped at everyone in the group.

"That's what ink and paper were invented for, you asshole!" Edward snarled. "You could've written books instead of ruining other people's lives by duping them then stealing their bodies and identities."

"What about Winry?" Alphonse asked. "Did you plan on snatching her body too?"

Don Paco started laughing. "Another sharp fella!" he hollered. "I won't deny that I've inhabited female bodies in the past—had the means to do it."

He gazed at Alphonse for a few more seconds then turned his eyes on Edward. "That was quite an adventure if I say so myself."

Both Edward and Alphonse glared at Don Paco, inevitably adding more fuel to the man's amusement.

Don Paco laughed for a few long minutes before his amusement died down. Then, he turned to Winry, and while meeting her eyes, he said, "I just wanted to get to know you, Winry Rockbell. It's been close to a century since the last time I crossed paths with a strong woman such as yourself."

"Matilde will be thrilled when she hears about your fascination with my—" Edward began but then stopped abruptly. He was still unprepared to admit to the world what Winry was to him. _Baby steps, baby steps,_ he reminded himself.

"Matilde?" Alphonse asked. He then shook his head and chuckled softly. "I forgot Matilde is this man's wife," he said, sheepishly.

"My wife doesn't mind at all," Don Paco mentioned.

"Yeah right..." Edward spat, calling the man's bullshit.

Don Paco offered him that boastful grin he'd come to hate. He then fixed his eyes on Winry. "How did you know I wasn't your boyfriend?" While turning his gaze on Edward, he added, "I mean he's your boyfriend, am I right?"

Edward growled.

"What?" Don Paco cried out in a hurt voice. "What why are you growling for? It's not my fault that you don't have the balls to admit that she's your girlfriend."

Even all tied up, the bastard had the gall to make spiteful remarks. "What I say or don't say is none of your fucking business, you understand asshole?" Edward bellowed.

"Ed," Winry called softly to him, but Edward was far too gone to listen to anyone at the moment.

Winry walked over to him and knelt by his side. She brushed her hand over his head. The contact was enough for Edward to regain his composure. He brushed against her hand, reveling in the contact.

Winry smiled lovingly at him. She then picked him up and stood up. As she caressed Edward's soft fur, she stared down at the man who'd usurped his place. "You asked me how I knew you were not Edward? Well, there were many things you did that told me you weren't him," she said, then took a moment to organize her thoughts before continuing. "Edward wouldn't act out of spite like you," she finally said. "He's kind and reserved, and only expresses his true feelings when the moment calls for it."

Edward looked up; and, Winry offered him a cheeky grin. She then returned her attention to Don Paco. "And he's not the touchy-feely type," she accused, her brow furrowing.

Don Paco let out a boisterous cackle. "It wasn't me who was rubbing his face all over your boobs, sweetheart."

The hairs on Edward's back stood on end; another growl rumbled from his chest.

Winry brushed her hand over his back to calm him. "I got this," she said in a soft whisper. Winry turned a ferocious glare on Don Paco. "Edward isn't a liar," she snapped at him. "He would've told me he recovered his alchemy right from the start." A pause. "Did you know that the name Edward means 'rich guard' in Old Amestrian?"

The question threw everyone off, but Edward knew Winry wasn't the type to say random things.

"He would never hurt people like you have," Winry said. "And he would never speak ill of Alphonse because he's a noble protector—his brother's keeper."

A toothy grin—a typical Edward expression—spread across the impostor's face. "You're really something, Miss Rockbell," he said. "I should've kept a better eye on you instead of keeping my eyes on these two"—he motioned to Edward and Alphonse—"and that lovely Xinguese girl." Even with the manacles, he raised his hands at Winry in surrender. "You got me good, and that's not an easy feat, preciosa." He turned his gaze on the brothers. "Am I right, boys?"

Edward and Alphonse were shooting daggers at him.

"Can you help my—" Alphonse asked, but the curse got in the way, and he stopped what he was trying to say.

Don Paco smiled. "And I can also break the curse I placed on you and your girlfriend."

"If you can break a curse then you can also break the charm you placed on Mr. Garfiel," Edward mentioned.

Don Paco stared at Edward for a second. "Why? The charm I placed on that man has been one of my greatest works by far!" he hollered.

"Why you—!" Edward hissed.

Winry looked back and forth, from the impostor to Edward. "Did I miss something?"

"Just ignore that awful man, Winry," Alphonse intruded. "He's just trying to create more discord among ourselves."

Edward looked up at his brother, and said, "Thanks, Al."

He wiggled in Winry's arms. She understood the message; she let him down on the floor.

Edward sauntered toward Don Paco. "That's enough out of you."

"As you wish, cano," Don Paco said with a smirk.

"You can start by removing the curse from my brother," Edward ordered. Turning his attention to his brother, he said, "Al, after the curse is lifted, call Mustang and explain everything to him. Have him send an escort to Table City—he'll know who he'll send." He then turned back to Don Paco. "I can't wait to extradite your sorry ass back to Creta once and for all."

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.

* * *

 **The FMA Big Bang Challenge for 2017 ended on Sunday, November 19.** I was granted an extension because life happens. Anyway, I will be posting chapters (probably 2x per week) until December 5, 2017.

 **Chapter 12, the final chapter, will be posted on December 5, 2017.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello dear readers!** So this is a new story I submitted for this year's FMA Big Bang (#fmabb17). The talented **Dzioo** created the art for it and the amazing **Bayalexison** , my beta, is helping me iron out the wrinkles in the story. They are both amazing people that you can find in Tumblr and/or AO3. All related artwork will be posted on Tumblr and AO3 under hirstories and le_confidant, respectively. You can find specific tags for this story on AO3.

* * *

.

.

 **Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher**

.

 **Chapter 12**

The Far West was similar to Rush Valley. Both places were painted in all kinds of hues kindly provided by the residues of natural-forming minerals and metals found in the earth. The canyons and rock formations were almost identical. Being a temporary resident of Rush Valley, Winry should've felt right at home, but that hadn't been the case. The comparisons between both places stopped when it came to the inhabitants of each land. The people of the Far West had proven to be more treacherous than the ones living in Rush Valley. Right now, Edward was out there, literally putting his life in the hands of Don Paco—the most treacherous person in the entire region. Being stuck inside Don Paco's hut was nerve-wreaking; all she could do was to pray that everything went smoothly with the switch. Alphonse and Mei were out there with Edward, so she had nothing to fear, but...she still worried. What if Don Paco somehow managed to trick them? It already happened once, when the sorcerer succeeded in casting a curse spell on them. _It won't happen again,_ Winry reminded herself. She took another look outside. Everything looked the same as before. The only thing she could make out from behind the window was the smoke rising from the fire as it reached for the night sky.

"You don't have to worry so much, dearie."

Matilde's words made Winry return to the present moment. She turned around, her eyes meeting the other woman.

Everyone in the group was shocked that Matilde wasn't angry with Don Paco. Apparently, she was used to his mischief. Not only was she used to them, she looked forward to them. Matilde barely reacted when she heard what the kind of trouble Don Paco caused, but she did tell her husband to "put everything the way it was". And he did so without so much as a peep.

"You're quite beautiful, Miss Rockbell," Matilde mentioned. "I can see why you caught Paquito's eye."

Winry didn't like her comment. She abstained herself from saying something rude, but she did offer the woman a tight smile in response. After a while, Winry said, "It was wrong for him to do what he did." She tried to keep her anger low key though her displeasure had been evident in her voice.

The seconds began stretching into minutes between the two women. This time around, it was Matilde who broke the awkward silence by saying, "It's all in the eye of the beholder, my dear."

Winry drew in a long breath. What kind of self-respecting woman would go to such lengths as to defend a husband that didn't even have so much as a grain of remorse for the way he acted? Winry tried searching for the answer in Matilde's eyes but found nothing. Were husbands and wives supposed to have blind faith in each other? If it ever came to that, would she defend Edward, in the same manner, this woman was defending her husband?

Matilde smiled at her. Winry couldn't shake the feeling that the woman knew what she was thinking. Winry crossed her arms over her chest and kept to herself after that. And they fell into silence once again.

The stillness was making Winry even more anxious than she already was. She looked at the time in her wristwatch. It was five until midnight; the Ritual of Transcendence was going to commence soon. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for this nightmare to be over.

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Don Paco moved around the fire, his regalia click-clacking as he set everything for the Ritual of Transcendence. Everyone and then he glanced at his body lying on the ground knowing he was soon going to be inhabiting that old body again—he certainly wasn't looking forward to it. His gaze also fell on Edward Elric, who was closely following his every move. Alphonse Elric was also standing watch, his piercing eyes followed his every step.

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All sorts of scenarios came to the front of Don Paco's mind as he finished the preparations for the ceremony. Even with alchemy at their disposition, Don Paco was confident he could take down both brothers with his trickery. But Mei Chan was a problem. The Xinguese princess took well to the shadows. She would most definitely intercept him if he tried something sneaky.

Even if—and just if—fortune decided to favor him in besting those three powerful alchemists, he would have to find a way to deal with the agents of the Amestrian military that escorted them to Creta. He was sure they were working undercover in every town surrounding his village. He remembered seeing a mix of alchemists and elite soldiers aboard the train in Rush Valley. Don Paco took one more look around, that simple gesture put both brothers on high alert. He turned around and chuckled to himself. Oh, how he was going to miss inhabiting Edward Elric's body. Don Paco held tight in his hand the skull pendant hanging from his neck. As long as he kept the Sanguine Star safe, he was okay with this and any future loses.

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Everything hurt: the joints, the bones, the lower back, and especially the left sciatic nerve. Don Paco sighed. He trudged to the rusty mirror hanging from a frayed rope. He took a look at the face he'd seen for the past seventy-two years and sighed again. The small respite he got from inhabiting a young body was over. Now that he felt the burden of age, he wished he made a better job in choosing the host for his mind and soul. If he would've stuck to his tried-and-true formula, he still would be wearing the body of a young man. But he had to stray away from the path and choose Edward Elric.

It hadn't been Edward's youth or virility what caught his eye in the first place. There were far better candidates out there. The body of the young villager he took for his own many decades ago had been in far better shape than the young Amestrian could ever be. One peek into Edward's life was all it took for him to stray from his usual ways. He hadn't been lying when he said that acquiring Edward's body was akin to winning a trophy—technically it was closer to obtaining a rare collector's item than to winning an actual trophy, but the mechanics were pretty much the same. Not only was Edward Elric a powerful alchemist he was also a fearsome warrior capable of fighting monsters and winning. And he's the only human known to have bested Truth at its own game.

"And he defeated you too!—the most powerful sorcerer in the entire continent," he exclaimed while pointing a gnarly finger at his wrinkled reflection. Don Paco lowered his finger, his expression turned distant.

Edward, his brother Alphonse, and their beautiful girlfriends left the village with the impression that he was just old croon who liked spreading chaos and creating mischief everywhere he went.

Don Paco focused again on his reflection, smirking at the man looking back at him.

A woman's hand snaked over his right shoulder. Don Paco turned his gaze to Matilde's reflection who'd just appeared in the mirror.

"Why were you smirking for?" Matilde asked.

Don Paco turned around and offered her the most tender of smiles. "No reason in particular," he said, and fell silent. A moment later, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Mati."

Matilde squeezed his hand ever so gently. "I know you tried, viejito lindo."

"I screwed up—big time."

Matilde gazed at him for a few long seconds. "That was bound to happen, Paquito. You knew the risks of choosing such a powerful alchemist as your next host."

Don Paco remained quiet for a few moments. He just couldn't ignore the tinge of resentment in Matilde's voice. She was right; he bit more than he could chew. But he wasn't the only one at fault here. He looked at his wife, and said, "Then why did you send him my way?"

Matilde didn't look surprised at all by his question. "Because you love the thrill of the chase," she answered with a knowing smile.

Don Paco couldn't help but cackle. His wife knew him well. He loved the hunt, he'd known this ever since he drove that dagger deep into Colonel Myer's sternum. Being on the other side of the equation wasn't something that happened often. When a human like himself had lived for centuries on end...

"Edward Elric sure made things interesting for me," Don Paco casually mentioned. His thoughts returned to their fateful encounter at the Rockbell home. "Cursing the younger brother and the princess was fun too," he added, chuckling. But his initial amusement died down fast, and his expression turned somber. "I had him," he said after a long pause. "There was no way he could've won."

"But he did," Matilde reminded him.

Don Paco let out a dry chuckle. "I still can't believe that brat managed to use alchemy." He shook his head. "I lied to him about being able to restore it, you know."

"I remember, the fib you told Edward, it was all you talked about after I put you in his body," Matilde said with a soft chuckle. Then she fell silent. A brief but uncomfortable pause followed before she said, "They would've been the perfect hosts for you and me."

Don Paco pursed his lips. Her sad expression made his failure even more painful than it already was. "Mati," he said, then waited for his wife to look at him before continuing. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't it been at least seventy years since you last inhabited a white person's body?"

"It's been fifty-two," Matilde replied. "You're really becoming senile aren't you?"

"That's why we needed new bodies," Don Paco guffawed, but the moment of wry amusement died out fast.

Don Paco pulled out his long chain pendant and stared at the socket where the Sanguine Star used to be. "I still can't believe that the stone broke."

Matilde took the pendant in her hand. "Edward Elric is one lucky man."

The Sanguine Star broke mere seconds after Don Paco performed the last switch, which had been between Domingo and Edward. Alphonse had to restrain the cat as he went ballistic, like the first time around, when Don Paco transferred his mind and soul into the blond. Matilde had been his assistant during the first Ritual of Transcendence. She managed to cage Edward's body—like Alphonse did this time around for Domingo—by transmuting the sand underneath his feet.

A thought just occurred to him. "You wanted me to leave Edward stranded in Domingo's body, didn't you?"

Matilde smiled impishly. "Sanguine Stars are a precious commodity, Paquito."

Don Paco let out a long and deep belly laugh. "And people say I'm the horrible one!" When his amusement died down, he said, "You were waiting for me to make a move, weren't you?"

"The girl wouldn't have seen me coming," Matilde answered.

"I know," Don Paco concurred. "Believe me, I was tempted to take action, but—" His thoughts trailed off for a few seconds. "Even if I was able to neutralize the younger brother and his girlfriend, I wasn't going to be able to neutralize the two military agents."

Matilde's brow furrowed a fraction. "You mean the alchemist that manipulates fire and the sharpshooter?"

Don Paco nodded. "Those two look like people who had spilled blood many times before."

"They were ready to take the Sanguine Star by force, if it came to it," Matilde mentioned. She paused and took a deep breath. "Oh well..." Matilde stuck her hand in her neatly-ironed blouse and fished out a long chain necklace—an identical copy to the one that Don Paco wore around his neck. From the chain dangled a Sanguine Star that shined like a drop of blood in the sunlight.

Don Paco looked past the Sanguine Star to gaze at his beloved wife. Even after one-hundred fifty years, he was thankful for having pursued the rumor about a gifted young alchemist that could make the impossible happen with the aid of a shiny red stone.

"Paquito, do you have enough strength to travel?" Matilde asked.

Don Paco smiled. "I can go anywhere you like but you have to promise me that you'll give me one of your sexy massages whenever I get sore."

"Never change, viejito lindo," Matilde replied while shaking her head.

"For you—never," Don Paco said as he leaned closer to kiss her forehead. "Where do you want to go?" he asked after leaning back.

"I want to visit the Far East," Matilde responded. "I think the body of a Xinguese woman would suit me fine, don't you agree?"

Don Paco cackled. "I was wondering why you were staring so much at the princess—now I know." Don Paco cupped a side of Matilde's face. "Would you like to become the Empress of a country?" He asked while rubbing his thumb over her cheekbone.

He didn't have to hear the answer, it was written all over her beaming face.

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Edward couldn't be happier than to be setting foot back in Amestris. Mustang, the Lieutenant, and everyone else in his team parted ways with them once they reached Table City. He was off the hook—for now. He and his brother bought train tickets for Central one month in advance. The Brigadier General wanted a full "unofficial" report on what had happened in Rush Valley and in the Far West. Edward could already see Mustang's smug smile spreading wide across his ugly mug as he laid out the terms of the deal for "once again saving his and Alphonse's behind". _Fucking Equivalent Exchange._

Edward didn't have to be a psychic to know that a civilian contract was going to be waiting for them the day they met with Mustang. The bastard was going to make sure to dot his i's and cross his t's just to squeeze every single drop of "assistance" he and his team provided for them. Work in Ishval was far from being finished—so maybe, just maybe—their expertise was going to be needed in the newly-reinstated country. Edward could feel a headache coming in; he put his thoughts on hold.

Turning his attention to the present moment, Edward hooked an arm around Winry's shoulders, and exclaimed, "It's great to be back inside my own body!" He craned his neck to meet Winry's miffed expression. "I bet you missed the real deal—right, babe?" he teased.

Winry shook his arm off. "Hardly," she spat.

Alphonse sniggered, and so did Mei.

"Did you say something my precious Alphonse-sama?" Edward said in a high-pitched voice and laughed hard when both Alphonse and Mei glared at him.

"You know what? I liked you better when you were a cat," Alphonse chided. Smirking, he added, "You were more bearable in that form"—he turned to Mei—"don't you agree?"

Mei nodded. "Yes, Alphonse-sa—" She stopped abruptly. She cleared her throat, and said instead, "What about you, Winry?"

Winry smiled impishly. "Ed was the cutest, cuddliest little kitty ever!"

"Pft—whatever," Edward retorted, then rolled his eyes at the bunch.

In the midst of laughter, his thoughts returned to his latest adventure. Inhabiting Domingo hadn't been that bad. He got to see the world from a different perspective. He learned to appreciate the people he loved the most—even more than he already did. But above all, he had one more chance to use alchemy. The perks for freaking everyone out hadn't been bad either.

Things would've been a heck of a lot different if Don Paco had decided to simply switched bodies with him. Everyone, including Granny, wouldn't have believed a single word coming out of his mouth. They've would've thought of him as an old coot who was trying to extort Edward Elric. Winry would've been the first one who'd dragged him to the police station, and all hope to return to his original body would've gone up in flames.

 _That was a missed opportunity right there,_ Edward thought. Don Paco was a cunning man. _He must've considered doing this in the first place._ Edward chuckled to himself. He certainly left the Far West with more questions than answers.

"Ed," Winry called out to him.

Edward's thoughts returned to the present.

"Do you miss not having your alchemy?" she asked.

Edward's brows hiked up his forehead. _Do I miss my alchemy?_ He hadn't even considered this yet. Did he miss it? Maybe a little, but not so much as to try other ways to restore it again. Raising his gaze to Winry, he said, "It was great having a go at it again—definitely loved the look on everyone's faces when they found out what I could do. It's not like every day you see a cat that's also an alchemist," he guffawed. "You should've seen Paninya's reaction when I transmuted the mattress in the hotel room—"

"Ed, you didn't answer the question," Winry pressed.

Edward stopped. Winry's question carried more than mere concern for his wellbeing. It'd been his desire to regain his alchemic ability what'd gotten him into trouble in the first place. But how can he tell her that she doesn't have to worry about him ever again? He approached Winry and cupped a side of her face. He offered her a tender smile as he brushed his thumb against her rosy cheek. A bomb went off before he had a chance to tell her about how he truly felt about everything.

The explosion occurred a block away from where they stood. Glass and debris flew in all directions, some fragments reached the street they had been walking on.

Another bomb went off. This time, Alphonse and Mei managed to erect a wall tall and wide enough to shield the majority of the people in the street. Unfortunately, the ones closer to the blasts got injured.

Table City, Milos, and Eastern Creta: these three places were still consumed by strife. Peace negotiations had been in effect ever since their first visit to Table City, but that wasn't the case anymore.

A group of lunatics came charging down the street shooting at everything that moved. The cries of men, women, and children soon reached everyone's ears. Winry and Mei set forth to help those in need of medical attention.

Edward looked at Alphonse; there was fire in his eyes. Edward gave his brother a nod, which he responded with one of his own.

Alphonse clapped his hands together, readying himself to attack. Out of habit, Edward did the same. His eyes rounded when he felt energy coursing through the palms of his hands.

Alphonse must've felt the potential energy because he was gaping at him. Edward offered him a wolfish grin in response. He then pressed the palms of his hands to the ground and produced a long spear made out of key ingredients found in the concrete.

"Hey, Al!" Edward hollered. "How about we give these assholes a good beating?"

Alphonse also grinned wolfishly. "Sound like a plan, Brother," he said as he fashioned a spear by transmuting a portion of the sidewalk.

With weapons in hand, they both sprang into action. The terrorists had no idea of what they brought upon themselves.

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* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading!** I wanted to try something new (something that wasn't angsty) this time around. For everyone who commented, you made my day. (n_n)

Now I will go back to my regular schedule, which means working on Convergence. It will be my main project for 2018. You can find Convergence under My Profile.


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